Pitch It Like Pendragon
by Lily Itriwi
Summary: A L/J fic based on the great film, Bend It Like Beckham. Lily dreams of being a Quidditch player, but in a world where female Quidditch players are few and far between, how will she achieve her dream?
1. Chapter 1

**Pitch It Like Pendragon**

I know, I know, I shouldn't be starting yet another story, especially when it's so long since I updated Tears of Flame, but I just watched Bend It Like Beckham, (which is, by the way, a kick-arse film – watch it!) and was dying to write a fic based on it. At first I was thinking Harry/Cho, but that would have to ignore a lot of canon, and I don't really like that ship anyway. So of course, I adapted it to L/J, the bestest kind of fic! I did fiddle around with canon slightly, I know Lily's supposed to be in Gryffindor. James is also a couple of years older than her, and please imagine that there are hardly any female Quidditch players – I know this isn't true, but the story doesn't really work otherwise. Anyhoo, I think that's all my breaks with canon, so on with the fic.

Disclaimer – This will have to do for the whole story, they get boring after a while. Anyhoo, the characters and so on in this fanfic that you recognise belong to her radiance, JK Rowling. The plot is adapted from the novelisation of Bend It Like Beckham, by Narinder Dhami, which is based on the screenplay by Gurinder Chadha, Guljit Bindra and Paul Mayeda Berges. Wheeewww. What a mouthful! Anyway, It's not mine. Here you go, chapter one. Please tell me what you think.

**Chapter 1**

Ellis Moor Stadium. Ballycastle Bats v. Braga Broomfleet. The crowd a sea of black and green. They're on edge. Waiting for the all-important goal to break the stalemate. 

            "But there's a big question hanging over the Bats," Kennilworthy Whisp, the commentator said breathlessly. "They've had plenty of action, several goal chances. They are clearly the stronger attacking side, although the excellent Beaters of the Portuguese side have been defended their hoops fanatically. But where's the goal going to come from? Will it be Horowitz? Or will Pendragon himself break through?"

            The crowd lean forward, urging the players on. The atmosphere is electric, or would be if most of them knew what electricity was.

            "Oh, and there's the pass Pendragon wanted! Plenty of players in the middle, and Evans is making ground as well. It's a decent throw, and there's Evans. That's a fine shot – AND SHE SCORES!"

            The crowd goes wild.

            "And it's a goal by Lily Evans! A superb shot, evading the Bludgers and planting the Quaffle just out of reach past the Keeper. Lily Evans makes a name for herself here at Ellis Moor! Have we discovered a new star here, Hamish?"

            The shot cuts to Hamish MacFarlan, the Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports, who turns to Alan Barwick and Rupert Thurston. They all look _very_ impressed.

            "Good question, Ken," says Hamish, turning to the panel. "_Could_ Lily Evans be the answers to England's prayers, Alan?"

            Alan raises his eyebrows. "There's no denying the talent there, Hamish. She's quick thinking, an excellent flyer, comfortable with the Quaffle, she's got awareness and vision. I tell you what, I wish she was playing for the Kestrels." This comment raised a groan from the audience, and Alan, who had been a Kestrels player himself a few years back, gave an apologetic grin. Hamish laughs and turns to Rupert Thurston.

            "Rupert, do you think England have found the player to help them relive our 1917 World Cup glory?"

            "No question, Hamish," says Rupert. "I think we've finally got the missing piece of the jigsaw. And the best thing is, she's not even reached her peak yet."

            Hamish turned to face forward. "Now, joining us today is Lily's older cousin, Kaitlyn Morgan. She has been Lily's surrogate mother since her parents died several years ago."

            _KATE?! Get out of my fantasy!_

            "So, Miss Morgan, you must be very proud of your cousin?" Hamish beams. 

            "Not at all!" shrieks Kate. "She shouldn't be flying around, playing games with all these men! She has a brain – she should be doing something useful – in the ministry! She's bringing shame on the family – " she gives the panel a filthy look "- and you three shouldn't be encouraging her."

            Hamish, Alan and Rupert look like little boys who have just been told off by their teacher.

            "Liliana, you get back home right now!" Kate rants on, pointing out at me. "Wait til I get hold of you! Liliana…"

            A second later, my dormitory door crashed open

.

            "Liliana, are you listening to me?" Kate demanded.

            Why did she always have to interrupt at the best bits? Hamish was just about to interview the England manager, Mark Barrowcliffe, who was considering calling me up for the next England match.

            "Liliana, have you gone mad?" Kate pointed at my ocu-globe and glared at me. Her special _Listen to me, I'm in charge and I know best glare. "Quidditch Scmidditch! It's Narcissa's engagement party tomorrow, you've got NEWTs coming up and you're sitting here watching the damn Quidditch match!"_

            She pointed her wand at the ocu-globe and it went dark. I groaned.

            "Kate, it's Pendragon's penalty!"

            Kate took no notice. She never does. She's five years older than me and her sister Narcissa, and according to her at least, a whole lot more mature. "Come downstairs," she ordered me. "Your cousin's going crazy."

            Tell me something I don't know. Cissa's pretty crazy, anyway. Now, with her wedding coming up, she's a full-on lunatic. I could hear her downstairs in our common room right now, having a fit about something or other.

            I stood up with a sigh. The library was the only place I could really chill out, in my dorm I couldn't get any peace and quiet half the time, especially now that Kate's become Slytherin Head of House as well as DADA teacher and she has access to our dorm any time she wants. I had my part of the room exactly how I wanted it, even though Kate never stopped moaning. Pictures of Emlyn Pendragon everywhere, and my Ballycastle Bats Quidditch robes hanging on the wall. Pendragon was my hero. OK, I know what you're all thinking. Yes, he's gorgeous. You'd have to be blind not to see it. But that's not why I like him. He's a god on the Quidditch pitch. _No one_ can pitch a pass like Pendragon. 

            "I'm sick of this wedding, and it hasn't even started yet," I muttered, staring at the poster of Pendragon over my bed. I talked to him all the time.

            Pendragon nodded sympathetically and looked as if he understood. He always understood. Nobody else did. Not in this house, anyway. It was just "Quidditch schmidditch". I remembered a quote by a famous Portree player that I'd read the other day. _Some people think Quidditch is a matter of life and death. It's much more important than that._ That was exactly how I felt. Not that I got much of a chance to play Quidditch. I was a girl, and in Slytherin, girls didn't play Quidditch. Most of them didn't _do anything much. Most of them were going to end up trophy wives for dim-witted purebloods and Death-Eaters. I wasn't. As a Muggle-born, I was supposedly useless, even for breeding purposes, and so I had to fall back on my brains. According to Kate, I was going to get a job at the Ministry, where I would be some use to the Master. Hah! I wouldn't help the stinking so-called Dark Lord if my life depended on it. Which it probably does. _

            Sometimes I wonder why I ended up in Slytherin. I mean, I know my only wizarding family have been Slytherins for generations, but I'm not cunning, I hate to lie, I have no inclination towards the dark side. I'm not even very ambitious. I don't want to be Minister of Magic, or the evil git Voldemort's right hand gal, or anything. I mean, I made Head Girl, but that's just because I get good grades, I didn't want it. I just want to play Quidditch. I suppose that's where my ambition and determination come in. I would do _anything if it meant I could play Quidditch._

            I went downstairs as slowly as I could. Cissa was standing in the common room, looking like she was about to rip someone's head off with her bare hands. I noticed the first and second years backing nervously away.

            "Why else would she do this at the last minute?" she was screaming. "She wants to ruin it for me. I'm telling you, Kaitlyn, she's a first-class bitch."

            "Narcissa!" Kate scolded, rushing across the common room towards the exit, heading for her office. "You've got plenty of other robes."

            "But it's all _planned_," Cissa wailed. "I need another one now." She shot me a poisonous stare. "Will you get a flaming move on!"

            "What's going on?" I asked. It sounded as if someone had died, at the very least.

            Cissa turned on me. "Get this. Luc's bloody sister's gone and said _she's wearing baby pink to our engagement party now." If looks could kill, her fiancé's sister would have dropped dead on the spot. "And I've got all my matching accessories and __everything."_

            I nearly said _Is that all?_, but luckily stopped myself just in time. Or it would have been _me lying dead in the middle of the common room. "Oh, crap," I groaned. "Do I have to go shopping AGAIN?"_

            Kate charged out of her office, brandishing her wand at me. "You'll do what I say, or I'll curse you so hard you'll be bleeding from every orifice. Just because you're my own flesh and blood doesn't mean I'll go easy on you. You girls are too spoiled." She waved us out of the entrance. "And don't forget my dragon's liver. I need to make a potion. Remember, don't pay more than 12 sickles an ounce!"

            This wedding was getting _so_ out of hand, I thought, clinging to my cloak as Cissa ran like a maniac down to Hogsmeade. And we still had to get through the engagement ceremony tomorrow night first.

            "We'll go to Gladrags," Cissa ordered, breezing along the High street like she owned it. She'd taken off her cloak, and in her skimpy red robes and sunglasses, she was turning a lot of guys' heads. No one was looking at me in my Adidas tracksuit bottoms and T-shirt (when not in uniform I wore Muggle clothes as often as possible. Robes were too much like a dress for my liking.) But that was the way I liked it. 

            Narcissa's the shopper from hell. We spent an hour in Gladrags looking at robes. We didn't buy any of them. Then she dragged me into Fancy-Free to look at shoes. I didn't bother to point out that it wasn't worth looking at shoes until we'd bought the robes. The mood Cissa was in, she'd probably have pushed me under a rampaging hippogriff just for mentioning it. 

            "Oh no," I heard Cissa mutter as we went into the shop. 

            The Hufflepuff girls, Monica, Bubbly and Sadie were in Fancy-Free, trying on shoes. They're all right, I guess. If you like bubble-headed bimbos with only two things on their mind – boys and clothes. They were all wearing strappy little tops and tight jeans, and they had dyed hair with streaky highlights. They think they're the witch version of Twiggy. They wish. I saw Cissa's face drop, but they're all from prominent pureblood families, so she can't be rude to them. She put on this really fake smile and rushed over to them like she hadn't seen them for five years. 

            "Hi! _Mwah! Mwah!_"

            There was a lot of hugging and air-kissing going on. I just stuck my hands in the pockets of my tracky bottoms, and tried to look invisible. It was times like this when an invisibility cloak would really come in handy.

            "Whatcha doin' here, doll?" squealed Monica. "You haven't left everything to the last minute, have you?"

            Cissa laughed. "Yeah, one more day of freedom!"

            Sadie, Monica and Bubbly laughed too, but they all looked a bit sick. They were probably wishing it was _them_ getting married.

            My heart sank as I saw Cissa suddenly stare Monica straight in the eye. "When did you do the eye-colour changing charm?" she asked in a frosty voice.

            Oh no, I thought.

            Monica looked smug. "D'ya like them? I just thought they went with my hair."

            "Oh." Cissa went in for the kill. "My fiancé doesn't like dyed hair." She smirked as Monica looked furious. "Still, can't stand here chatting all day. I'm going to Collette Caddle's Beauty Charms for my facial. Laters."

            "Bye, Cissa, laters," the three airheads chorused.

            Cissa grabbed my arm and pulled me over to the door. "Stupid bitch," she moaned in my ear. "Why'd she have to go and get blue eyes? Now I can't change mine!"

            I had to bite my tongue to keep quiet. We'd be shopping for new body parts next. 

            "I might go back to Gladrags," Cissa went on as we carried on down the high street. "I really liked that lace Lycra outfit." Then she nudged me. "Look, Lily, there's your mate."

            Sev was coming towards us with his mum, trying not to get noticed. Severus tries to be seen as dark and dangerous, but he's actually really nice, and in a house like ours, it's hard to come across nice people. Anyway, Sev was hiding behind a huge pile of shopping – being seen out in Hogsmeade with his mum doesn't do anything for his image. His mum's a bit batty – she used to be some kind of Seer, but it addled her brains. She lives in Hogsmeade, because most Muggles would get a bit suspicious of anyone who wanders into the local chemist's in a pointy hat and asks for a litre of dragon drool. Anyway, Sev's one of my few close friends. Although – as I've been all but adopted by the Morgans – I'm an honorary pureblood, most Slytherins don't like to associate with me. Don't get the wrong idea about Sev. I've known him for years, and I like him a lot. But not like _that._

            "Let's make this quick," Cissa hissed in my ear. She glared at Sev's mum, who was shuffling along behind him, peering through thick glasses. "And I hope your mate's mum wears a cloak over her three stomachs at the party tomorrow."

            "Shut up, she's old," I muttered.

            "So?" Cissa shot back.

            Sev looked shyly at us. That doesn't _mean_ anything, though. He was just embarrassed at being caught with his mum, carrying a bag of beetles and a family pack of loo roll. "Hiya, Lily. Hi, Cissa."

            "Nice to see you Severus, Mrs Snape." Cissa said, smiling cloyingly at Sev's mum. 

            She beamed at us. "I See you will have a long and happy life, my child. Just steer clear of candyfloss. Is everything ready for tomorrow?"

            "Yes, Mrs Snape," said Cissa, doing her perfect-little-girl act. "We're just waiting for the sushi delivery."

            "I See you and your husband will have endless happiness! Just tell Lucius to beware the Ides of March… Oh! Sorry, wrong guy. Luc just needs to remember to exorcise the spirits from any new shoes before wearing them. Just display them on a window sill with a tulip bulb in each on the night of the full moon. You will prosper, my child!" Sev's mum said loudly. I'm not kidding. She really does talk like that. "And pray for me, that the fortunes send me a good daughter-in-law like you for my Severus, eh, dear?"

            I couldn't help grinning at Sev, who looked like he wanted to jump down the nearest hole. 

            "Thank-you, Mrs Snape," Cissa said quickly. I could tell she was dying to get away. "OK, bye…"

            "How was Herbology?" Sev jumped in, just before Cissa could drag me away. 

            I'd been struggling on the homework a couple of days ago and dreading the lesson, and Sev's a whiz with plants and herbs and stuff.

            "OK," I said. "I managed to subdue the Itriwi, eventually, but not before it half-blinded me." The Itriwi, or star-son plant (originating in Morocco), was dangerous because it emitted sharp beams of light into a creature's eyes,  blinding it, then used its fangs to inject a venom that made the creature dissolve from the inside out. 

            Sev nodded, and said, "Next time, bring sunglasses!"

            "Hope my grade's OK for the Ministry. I don't want Herbology to let me down." Kate had plans for me to become something or other in the Ministry after I passed my NEWTs. I think she just wanted me to have access to all the inside information, so she could pass it on to that camel excrement, Voldemort. I hadn't objected so far because I didn't really know _what _I wanted to do. Except play Quidditch. And that wasn't a proper job. Not for a girl, anyway.

            "Come _on_, Lily," Cissa breathed impatiently in my ear.

            "You coming out to the lawn later, Lily?" Sev asked hopefully.  What he really meant was, Are you up for a game of Quidditch later with the lads? We, along with a few other Slytherin lads not quite good enough for the House team, played Quidditch as often as we could out on the front lawns of the castle – the pitch was always booked by the 'proper' teams. 

            "I'll try," I said. A quick match was just what I needed to forget about the wedding and homework for a few hours. "Goodbye, Mrs Snape. See you later, Sev."

            I waved to Sev and his mum. As they went off, Cissa gave a shriek of joy which could probably be heard back down in Diagon Alley. 

            "I've found it!" She pointed at the window of the nearest robe shop at a lilac and cerise confection. "Come on, Lily!"

            _Thank God, I said silently, as she dragged me inside. _

            The next major trauma was when we got back to the horseless carriages that brought us down, and remembered that we'd forgotten the dragon liver for Kate. Cissa was heading off for her facial, so I trudged back and bought the stuff at Potions-R-Us. I walked back to Hogwarts, and decided to head back over the lawns. It really _is_ the shortest route. Honest.

            Sev and some of the boys – Crabbe, Zott, Matthews and a couple of others – were in the middle of a game. Swinging the carrier bag full of dragon liver, I slowed down to watch.

            Sev saw me, and his face lit up. He flew over. "Hey, Lily, fancy a quick game?"

            "I can't," I said reluctantly. "Kate's waiting for her dragon liver, and I need to finish my Transfiguration essay."

            "Aw, come on, Lily," Sev pleaded. "We really need you."

            I hesitated.

            "Come _on_." Sev grabbed my arm and handed me a spare broom.

            I dropped the carrier bag on the ground, and flew over to join the others. Crabbe and Zott started whistling and yelling stuff, but they're always like that, so I took no notice. They're OK really. Just more brawn than brains. 

            The game started up again, and within seconds I had the Quaffle. Crabbe flew at me, but I could see him coming a mile off. I swooped past him easily and headed for the goal hoops. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Zott heading towards me. I stopped suddenly, then when he reached out to grab the Quaffle, dived under him, completely flustered him and left him for dead.  I couldn't understand why my brain seemed to work a hundred times faster when I was playing Quidditch. I just loved the fact that it did. 

            Looking frustrated, Zott lunged at me again from the side. He slid in and blurted me (locked broom handles, trying to steer me off course). Foul. My penalty.

            "Does she think she's Pendragon or what?" Matthews grumbled. Forget sexual equality. Boys still _hate _being beaten by girls. 

            "I guess it's 'cos she gets so much practice with _balls…" Crabbe sniggered. _

            Annoyed, I grabbed the Quaffle from a surprised Sev, flew over to them and pushed it into Zott's nuts. He yelled in pain and doubled over, his broom heading for a crash, before belly flopping onto the grass. The other boys fell about laughing. Smiling to myself, I grabbed the carrier bag and flew up to the castle.

            "It's not fair," I lay with my head at the foot of my bed, staring up at Pendragon. "I could've carried on playing all night. The boys never have to come up for prefect duty or anything…"

            I'd run all the way back to the common room, but Kate had still complained that I'd been too long. She'd taken one look at my tousled hair, and guessed I'd been playing Quidditch. That always put her in a bad mood. 

            "I wonder," I went on thoughtfully, "if I ever got married, would I get someone who'd let me play Quidditch whenever I wanted?"

            The door opened, and I jumped.

            "Lily, who are you talking to?" Kate's husband, my almost-father, asked, looking puzzled. Michael Charbet had been a Ravenclaw and was the only person I'd ever met who could get stubborn, relentless Kate to change her mind. He'd just got back from work and was still in his Obliviator uniform. 

            "No-one," I said quickly. 

            Mike came in and sat down on my bed. "You know Wilhemina and her granddaughter have to stay in this dorm with you when they arrive for the party." He stared around the room. "Lily, why don't you put up some nice pictures of beautiful scenery instead of this Quidditch player?"

            "Mike!" I groaned.

            He smiled, and ruffled my hair. "OK, I'm going to change. Then come and help me with the decorations."

            I rolled off the bed. We had a whole load of fairy lights to put around the common room, which Kate had taken over for the weekend for the engagement party, and I bet Kate had a hundred other decorations to put up, on top of the inevitable last-minute jobs lined up for me. No chance of a game tomorrow then…

            To be honest, the engagement party wasn't _that _bad. The common room looked fantastic with all the lights shimmering in the dark, and there was enough food to feed the whole of Scotland. All the acquaintances and relatives had turned out, and the common room was packed with all of the purest blood in British society. The men were all in sombre black robes, including Sev, and the girls were decked out like Christmas trees. Monica, Bubbly and Sadie were there, eyeing up all the girls' outfits and deciding how much each one cost. I bet they didn't spend very long discussing _mine._ My navy blue dress-robe was the plainest Kate had allowed me to get away with. 

            Cissa looked nervous but happy as she sat next to Lucius, playing the part of the quiet, shy  bride-to-be. She'd been seeing Luc for years, even going behind her parent's back at first (when they'd still been alive, that is.) He's OK, I guess, much too slimy for my taste. A future death-eater if ever I saw one. Maybe that was the attraction. I didn't really have a clue what Cissa saw in him, but she was mad about the guy. 

            None of us were mad about his family, though. His sister was looking so smug in her baby pink robes that I was a bit worried Cissa would get up and hex her to within an inch of her life.  And Lucius's mum was scary. I was being a good, helpful hostess (Kate had threatened me with a Leglocker curse if I didn't behave, and if my legs were locked that meant no Quidditch…) carrying around a tray of hors d'oeuvres, and I offered it to them. Luc's dad went to take one, and she actually slapped his hand and told him off. I didn't envy Cissa having that miserable old bag as a mother in law. 

            There was a row of beady eyed second cousins thrice removed or something sitting on the sofa, watching everything that was going on. I took the hors d'oeuvres over to them, fixing a smile on my face. 

            "It'll be your turn soon, Liliana," one of them said gleefully. "Now, I doubt you'll be able to catch a pureblood, but you'd manage a half-blood, hmm? If you're lucky, you'd get a Slytherin, but I suppose you'd settle for a Ravenclaw?"

            I didn't want to answer that. Not that I'd even thought about it. _I don't want to get married, I said silently. Not until I've done something with my life. I didn't want what Cissa wanted. I was looking for something different, although I didn't know what. And anyway, there was more to life than getting married._

Like Quidditch, for instance.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Oh, yes!" I looped the loop in celebration. "What a goal!"

I'd just scored with a hard shot through the right post that had blasted its way past the goalie.  Zott and Matthews looked _really fed up. They glared at each other, as Sev and I celebrated._

"Hey, man, what were you waiting for?" Matthews roared at Zott. "The flippin' Knight Bus?"

I grinned to myself as Zott took his shirt off and threw it at the ground in disgust. 

"Oi, Lily! Over here!"

I looked around. Monica, Bubbly and Sadie were sitting on a nearby bench, waving frantically at me. 

'What do _they want?' I thought irritably. They didn't bother with me much, usually. Reluctantly, I flew over to them. They were all tarted up as usual, and were completely overdressed for sitting in the grounds. But then, they didn't look too impressed with my Ballycastle Bats robes and trackies either. _

"Lily, doll, who's your friend with the gorgeous bod?" Monica demanded. 

"Who?" I didn't have a clue what they were talking about.

"The one with the six-pack," Sadie squealed impatiently.

            "If he looks at me, I really will faint," Monica said in a completely melodramatic voice.

            I frowned at looked over at the boys. "Do you mean Zott? Er, I mean Dan."

            "Dan, is that his name?" Monica asked eagerly. Their tongues were practically hanging out as they watched Zott fooling around, doing stupid dive-bombs at the other lads. "He is so _fine_."

            "Hey, Lily," Sev called to me. "Come on."

            Thank God. I'd had enough of all this girly stuff.

            "Go on, Lily," Bubbly said cattily. "Lover boy's calling you."

            "Shut up," I snapped. "You know he's just my mate. We're not all slags like you lot."

            I turned and flew off, feeling really annoyed. I didn't want anyone getting the wrong idea about me and Sev. That second cousin thrice removed's words came flooding back: _It'll be your turn soon… Not likely! I shook my head and jogged back on to the pitch. _

            Zott and Matthews were determined to stop me this time, but when Sev passed me the Quaffle, I took them on again. I dodged Zott. Then I flicked the Quaffle past Matthews and caught it on the other side. It was just too easy. Before they knew what had hit them, I'd scored again. Zott and Matthews were so mad, I thought they were going to kill each other.             We landed, to catch our breath, and were just about to restart the game when I saw a girl coming towards us. At first I didn't take any notice, thinking she was just using the lawn as a short cut. But she was looking straight at me and smiling.

            "Hi."

            "Er – hi." I stared at her. She was tall and thin, with short blonde hair, and she was wearing a Muggle trackie top and shorts. She was pretty too. But I'd never seen her before in my life. 

            "That was brilliant," she said eagerly. "Do you play for any side?" 

            I was completely gobsmacked. I glanced at Sev, who looked puzzled too. The other lads nearly bust a gut laughing. Typical.

            "Like who?" Zott grinned. "Mudblood Mugwumps United?" (A/N – Mugwump is late 19th century slang for an impotent male. There you go, you learn something new every day.)

            The girl ignored him. She obviously wasn't as impressed with Zott's six-pack as Sadie, Monica and Bubbly were. "I play for Hogsmeade Horntails girls' side." I looked blank. I didn't know there _was_ a Hogsmeade Horntails girls' side. "It's closed season now, but we've got a tournament coming up." She smiled at me. "You could come and have a trial."

            "A trial?" I stammered. I couldn't get my head around what she was saying. "Do you think I'm good enough?"

            The girl nodded. "Yeah. I've watched you a few times while I've been out running. You've got really good. It's up to our coach, but – " she shrugged "– I know we could do with some fresh blood."

            "That's brilliant, Lily," Sev said excitedly.

            "Are you sure? You know I'm a Slytherin, right?" The girl nodded. "And you're what? A Ravenclaw?"

            The girl shook her head, eyes glinting in amusement. "Gryffindor actually."

            I gaped at her. "And you're alright with the fact I'm Slytherin? Don't you think I'm an evil scumbag?"

            "Nope. I'm fine with it. That's if you're OK with the fact I'm a... now, what did Malfoy call me? Oh yes, a jumped-up, immature, glory-hunting Gryffie."

            "Really? Where have you been for the last six years? I've been trying to get to know people from other houses ever since I discovered mine was full of spiteful sluts, no offence Sev, but as soon as people realise I'm one of them, they don't want to know. Are you sure the rest of the team will be okay with it?"

            "Well, you're an incredible player. If our coach says you're in, you're in, and they're going to have to deal with it. They're really friendly, though, I'm sure you'll get on great with most of them once they get to know you."

            The other boys calmed down from their hysterical laughter long enough to insert a few sarcastic comments. 

            "Do you swap robes at the end of matches?" Crabbe asked, snickering.

            "And get in the big bath together?" Zott added.

            The girl raised her eyebrows at me and shook her head. "I'm Abby, Abby Figg," she said, stretching out a hand.

            "Lily," I said breathlessly. I didn't care how much the boys laughed at me. Abby thought I was good enough to play for a _proper_ side. At last, this was my chance to do something different with my life. _This was what I'd been waiting for._

            I stood at the side of the pitch, trying to take it all in. Hogsmeade Horntails had a _real ground. A proper pitch with goal hoops and Glo-globes and changing rooms and stands for the crowd. Instead of Zott and Matthews and Crabbe and the others taking the mick and fooling about, there were women doing some serious training on the pitch in front of me. They were all different. Some were slim and lean, like Abby, and some were more powerfully built. The team seemed to have several locals, but I also recognised some of the girls from school – several Gryffindors, with a fair number of Ravenclaws and a few Hufflepuffs thrown in for good measure. No other Slytherins, though. No surprise there, then._

            My heart thumped with excitement. These were the girls I'd be playing with if I got onto the team, I told myself. No, _when_ I got onto the team. I wasn't going to throw this chance away. But I had to meet the coach first. That was why I was here.

            Abby had told me that the coach was called James. James Potter. I watched him flying up and down the pitch, yelling at the players. Some of them were practising diving, and some of them were bashing Bludgers into targets, one after the other. I wondered how James felt, being the only guy out there. He didn't seem to mind, though. He seemed pretty much at home... And kind of good-looking – if you're interested in that sort of thing.

            I took a deep breath, and ran out onto the pitch. Abby had stopped to chat to James as I rushed over to them. The first thing I noticed was that James didn't look too pleased to see me. But that couldn't stop me grinning from ear to ear. I was excited just to _be_ there.

            "Where do you usually play?" James said. No hello, nothing. It would have sounded really off, if he hadn't had such a soft Irish accent.

            I beamed at him. "On the lawn, up at Hogwarts."

            He looked at Abby and frowned. "I meant, what position?"

            "Oh, sorry." I felt a bit of a fool. "I usually play Chaser, but I'm a fair Keeper and an alright Seeker."

            James looked me up and down. "Get your broom, then," he said.

            My face fell. "I haven't got one."

            I'd been begging my parents, and then Kate, to let me buy a broom, ever since second year. My Muggle parents had considered Quidditch too dangerous for their darling little girl, and told me to wait until I was older. I had, but they hadn't. Kate was worse. If I even mentioned it, she'd go off on a rant about how I spent too much time playing Quidditch as it was and that I should spend my time doing something worthwhile, like studying. I'd been riding a rubbishy school broom for years.

            James looked incredulous at this revelation. For a minute, I thought he was going to chuck me out before I'd even got started. I stared at him anxiously, trying to make him realise how desperate I was to play. Abby was looking a bit uncomfortable. I guessed she'd had to persuade James to give me a go. 

            "All right," he said at last. "Grab a spare practice broom from that cupboard and start warming up."

            I smiled with relief, and took off my cloak. I had my Ballycastle Bats robes on underneath. Maybe soon I'd be wearing the Horntails strip like the other girls. But first I had to show what I could do...

            I felt nervous as I took my place on the pitch with the other players. I never felt nervous when I was playing against Zott and that lot, but this was different. I had to do well to earn a place in the team.

            But once the Quaffle was in my grasp, I lost all my nerves. It was just like being back at Hogwarts. Adrenaline pumped through me as I swooped down the pitch, managing to avoid two opposing Chasers and a Bludger. I did my famous double-swerve to get past a third and flew forward. I had the goal in my sights.

            "Pass to Abby!" I heard James yelling from the sideline. 

            I ducked a Bludger and looped the Quaffle up, high over the Keeper's head, to Abby, who flung it through the nearest hoop.

            "Brilliant!" James called, and I glowed with pride. I wanted this so much it _hurt._

When the game was over, I was so nervous, I felt sick. I wanted to know if I'd made it onto the side. I _thought _I'd done well – I'd scored a time or two myself, and set up goals for Abby and another girl whose name I didn't know. As we trooped off the pitch, I felt my heart lurch as James came over and took me to one side. 

            "How'd it feel out there?" he asked. 

            "Excellent," I gasped. I was red in the face and out of breath, but I felt fantastic. "Really great."

            James looked at me curiously. "I've never seen a Slytherin girl into Quidditch."

            I smiled shyly. "They don't encourage us to play it. We're not supposed to be able to do anything except put on makeup. But I _have_ to play. I would have come sooner, but I didn't even know they had a girls' team here."

            "It's all her fault," James said. He nodded at Abby who'd run over to join us. "I knew her back in Hogwarts, and when I was playing here in the men's team she used to hang around whining that there was no team for her."

            "I wasn't _whining," Abby argued. "But there was nothing for us girls. We weren't allowed on the House teams at Hogwarts, and here there was just junior league boys' stuff. But when he busted his knee and couldn't play anymore, he set up a girls' side –" she grinned at James, and I realised, with a bit of a shock, that she had the hots for him "– and he's been on my case ever since."_

            "I really want to coach the men's side, but the club made me start at the bottom," James said. It was the first time I'd seen him really smile. "And you can't get much lower than her!"

            "Oh, you're so full of it!" Abby laughed. I was beginning to feel a bit left out. She and James had obviously known each other for years, and got on pretty well. "We win just as many matches as the men's side. So..." She flung an arm round my shoulders. "Does she pass?"

            I looked eagerly at James. 

            "Your family up for it?" he asked.

            I looked as innocent as I could. "Oh, yeah, they're cool." No way was I admitting the truth.

            "Right, you'd better come back then." James leaned over and punched Abby playfully on the shoulder. "And I suppose I'd better go and open the bar. Do some real work."

            He went off towards the clubhouse. I glanced at Abby. She could hardly take her eyes off him. Actually, I didn't really blame her. He _was a great coach._

            Abby turned to me. "He likes you."

            For no reason at all, I blushed. "You think so?"

            "He asked you back, didn't he?" Abby grinned. "How long have you been playing?"

            I shrugged. "Oh, for ages, but nothing as serious as this. Just out on the lawns."

            "Serious, this?" Abby laughed. "It'll do for now, but I want to play professionally."

            My mouth fell open in amazement. "Wow! You can _do_ that?" I gasped. "As a job, you mean?"

            "Sure," Abby nodded. "You didn't used to be able to, but some European teams started recruiting women about a decade ago, and England are just starting to catch up."

            "Really?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Women could play Quidditch professionally? Suddenly, working for the boring old Ministry seemed even less interesting than it had before. Abby was lucky, I thought enviously. Her family must really support her if she wanted to become one of the first female Quidditch players in England. I felt a stab of anxiety. And here I was, not even knowing how to tell mine about Hogsmeade Horntails...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

****

            "Here." James handed me a battered looking broomstick. "It's a bit tatty, but it'll do the job."

            I couldn't stop myself grinning. I didn't care _how_ tatty it was. It was my first broom. And not my last, I hoped.

            "Thanks," I said, taking it and weighing it up in my hand.

            "And here's the kit," James went on, shoving a Hogsmeade Horntails sports robe and a pair of shorts into my arms. "Don't be afraid to get it dirty."

            My smile disappeared fast. I held up the sports robe and looked at it in dismay. Far too short to cover my exposed legs, if I wore the shorts. I don't do shorts. Ever.

            "Can't I wear my tracksuit bottoms?" I blurted out. 

            James was already walking away, towards the pitch. "No. Go and get changed."

            My heart sank. I stared at the shorts. They looked tiny – my scar would be totally visible. I couldn't believe he was making me do this. I sighed and headed towards the changing rooms. 

            I nearly died when I walked inside. The changing room was packed – and most of the girls had half their clothes off. One was actually walking around in her bra and knickers, without a care in the world. I gulped, clutching my kit. I wasn't used to undressing in public. It just wasn't something we did in my family. And my scar didn't help. But I was just going to have to get on with it. This was a whole new world I was jumping into.

            "Hey, Lily." Abby called to me from across the room. "Get changed over here with me."

            I hurried over gratefully. She looked really pleased to see me, which was reassuring. "You've met our captain, Mel, haven't you?" she went on.

            A pretty black girl was getting changed next to Abby. "Yeah," I smiled. "Hi."

            "So you're up for a proper match then, Lily," Mel said with a friendly grin. After a little initial suspicion from the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, I had been surprised at how welcoming the team had been. "Chiswick Cheetahs next. They've got the best defensive record in the league, so they're due for a good stuffing." She pulled her T-shirt over her head. "We need some more pace up front." I nodded, trying to look anywhere other than at her chest. "And we could do with another decent Chaser. So, welcome to the Horntails, Lily!"

            "Thanks," I mumbled.

            It was about time I was getting changed too, so I slipped my Horntails robe over my head and began trying to get my sweatshirt off underneath. I was tying myself up in knots, so I was glad when the other girls started filing outside. Within a few minutes I was the only one left in the dressing room.

            I whipped off my tracksuit bottoms, and pulled on the shorts. I felt sick. I hardly ever looked at my scar, and I'd forgotten just how big and ugly it was. It ran all the way down my right thigh to my knee. The shorts and sports robe hardly covered it at all.

            I crept out of the changing rooms, trying vainly to pull the right leg of my shorts down to hide the scar. Down on the pitch, James had already started the team on laps. I was dying to join in, but I just couldn't bring myself to. Maybe if I talked to him again, he'd let me wear my tracksuit bottoms instead.

            I slipped into the stand and sat down. After a moment or two James spotted me and walked over, frowning.

            "Lily, what's going on?"

            I didn't answer, so he vaulted over the barrier and came to sit beside me. I watched his expression when he noticed my scar. He looked totally taken aback. But he didn't seem disgusted or anything.

            "It looks awful," I muttered. "That's why I can't wear shorts."

            "Merlin, that's a stunner alright," James agreed. "I though I had a bad one on my knee, but yours is gorgeous! Look," he went on gently, "don't worry about it. No-one's going to care once you're up there." He glanced down at my leg again. "What happened?"

            "You don't want to know," I said gloomily.

            James pulled up the leg of his tracksuit and showed me a scar on his right knee. "The best medi-wizards in St Mungo's, and it's still useless," he said. "Does yours affect your game?"

            I shook my head. "Nah, it just looks awful." I glanced at him. "You know Professor Morgan?"

            "The DADA teacher?"

            "Yeah, well, my parents were killed a few years ago and I've lived with the Morgans ever since. Kate…I mean, Professor Morgan was experimenting with her potions homework back in seventh year. I was eleven, and chronically curious. I was watching over her shoulder and distracted her at the wrong moment – she dropped in too much Indian brandy, the potion expanded, the cauldron overflowed and the potion poured down my leg." I shivered as I remembered the shock and the pain. "Kate brewed an antidote as quick as she could, but it didn't work too well." I screwed my face up. "I was still missing half my skin."

            "I'm sorry," James said.

            "I know," I sighed. "And they wonder why I get bad potions grades."

            He burst out laughing and stood up. "C'mon. Mine stopped me from playing outright. Yours doesn't."

            I felt a bit ashamed of myself, then. James was right. At least I could play.

            "I'm sorry about your knee," I said hesitantly.

            "Yeah, yeah, I'm a right sob story, aren't I?" James shrugged as we walked out onto the pitch. I noticed Abby looking at us a bit strangely. She was probably wondering what we were talking about. 

"Now, come on, let's see some sweat on you."

            I couldn't get over how understanding James was. He seemed to know exactly how I was feeling inside. He really was a brilliant coach. I bet he'd been an ace player, too. It was a shame about his knee injury.

            Seconds later I'd forgotten all about my stupid scar. I joined the others swooping around the pitch, then we levitated some target rings and James got us to fly through them while he made them move around. I was worried I might not be as fit as the rest of them, but all that time I put into embarrassing Zott and the others on the Hogwarts lawns seemed to have paid off. I was a bit out of breath, but not much.

            After some more fitness training, we moved on to practising Quaffle drills. It was much more fun – I felt truly alive, swooping around the pitch with Abby and the rest, Quaffle in hand and grin firmly in place.

            We finished the training session with a quick game, and I scored several times, as well as setting up some beauties for Abby and the other Chaser, Rosmerta, from the village. As I flew back to Hogwarts afterwards, I was buzzing. I could've flown to Bulgaria and back! _This was what I'd always wanted to do. And now that I'd got used to the kit, I couldn't bear to take it off. I didn't care if the whole of Hogwarts saw my scar. I was on a total high._

            The boys were playing on the lawns as usual. I dashed over to them, broom in hand, grinning all over my face. "Hey, Sev!"

            Sev stared at me admiringly. "Wow, Lily! You look like a pro in that kit."

            "It's brilliant, Sev," I gabbled happily. "They're a top team, and the coach is ace."

            "Excellent!"

            The other boys had stopped playing and were staring at me.

            "What's that down your leg?" Zott said, pointing at my scar.

            "Haven't you seen a burn before?" I retorted.

            All the boys made loud noises like they were about to be sick.

            "That's disgusting, man!" Zott pulled a face.

            "Oi!" Sev yelled, squaring up to him. "Back off, you prat."

            "Ooh, lover boy!" they all sniggered, and fell about laughing.

            "It's fine." I was eyeing the Quaffle in Zott's hands. "At least I can still beat you with my eyes closed!" I darted forward and nicked the Quaffle, kicking off hard from the ground as I did so. Zott raced after me, but I spiralled around him, always just out of reach. Then I looped the Quaffle up and threw it over his head, diving under him to catch it on the other side. Zott gave a shout of frustration. He doubled back and came at me again. This time I stopped dead in midair before he got to me, and freefalled down and out of his reach, before swooping around him and chucking the Quaffle through the nearest hoop.

            "Oh, skill!" I shouted, as I caught the Quaffle again and swooped down the pitch. I was really enjoying myself. "Look at the skill!"

            I came to a stop near the ground as Zott grabbed me by the broomtail from behind.

            "Let me go!" I yelled, letting go of my broom with both hands in order to pummel him. 

            The boys were all roaring with laughter as he swung me off my broom and onto his. I was laughing too – until I saw the look on Sev's face. He was staring past me and Zott, but I couldn't see what he was looking at. The other boys stopped laughing too. Then Taz glanced round, and dropped me the few feet onto the pitch like a hot potato.

            Kate was standing there with a bag of potion ingredients in her hand, looking like she was about to skin me alive to use as one of them.

            "By Salazar, Liliana!" Kate was wringing her hands, standing in front of the picture of our glorious founder. "He was touching you all over, putting his hands on your bare legs – you'll have even less chance of making a marriage." She glared at me. I was sitting on the sofa in the common room, still wearing my Horntails kit. "You're not a young girl any more, Liliana. You need to take more responsibility. I don't want you hanging around those boys any more – you'll be lucky to even get a half-blood now. And I forbid you to go anywhere near that Quidditch pitch. And what _are _you wearing? Showing the world your scar…Merlin's ghost!..."

            "Lily, now that your cousin's engaged, it's different," Mike said. He was at the bar in Kate's office, getting himself a Fire-whisky. I didn't drink, but right now I could have done with one myself. "You know how people talk."

            "_She's the one getting married, not me!" I said resentfully._

            "_I was married at your age," Kate snapped. "You don't even wear make-up!"_

            I didn't see what that had to do with it. "Anyway, I'm not playing with boys any more." Maybe _that would shut them up. _

            "Good." Kate headed off towards her office. "End of matter."

            "I'm joining a girl's team," I went on. "They want me to play in proper matches."

            Kate and Mike stared at each other.

            "The coach said I could go far," I added, looking hopefully at Mike. He was always more of a soft touch than Mum.

            "Go far?" Kate snorted. "To where? Lily, we let you play all you wanted when you were young. You've played enough."

            "But that's not fair," I cut in. "He selected me."

            "He?" Kate pounced like a cat on a mouse, and turned to Mike. "She said it was girls!"

            "The coach is called James," I explained patiently.

            "See how she lies?" Kate shook her head at Mike. "What family will want a daughter-in-law who flies around playing Quidditch all day?" She looked sternly at me. "You should be studying for your NEWTs, so you can get a good job in the Ministry and be useful, for a change!"

            "But, Mike –" I began.

            Mike started to say something, but Kate jumped in again. "Look, this is how you spoil her," she said loudly. "This is how it started with your niece. The way that girl would answer back! Then she runs off to find dead bodies and get sand in her hair."

            "Kate!" I tried to get a word in edgeways. "She's a Curse-Breaker!"

            "She's _divorced, that's what she is," Kate pointed out triumphantly. "Cast off after three years married to a __Muggle with blue hair! Her poor mother, she hasn't been able to come near society since. I don't want this shame in my family!" She held up her hand. "That's it! No more Quidditch!"_

            She stormed out of the common room. I slumped on the sofa. I couldn't believe it. I'd finally found something I really wanted to do and now I wasn't going to be allowed to do it.

            "Lily, Kaitlyn is right," Mike said, looking at me awkwardly. "It doesn't look nice. You must behave like a proper young woman now."

            There was no point in arguing. I swallowed hard, trying not to cry. It looked like my Quidditch days were well and truly over.

***

            "It's out of order, Sev!" I bunched my wet hanky into a ball, and scrubbed at my eyes. "Anything I want is just not _feminine _enough, or not _Slytherin_ enough. I mean, I never bunked off lessons like Cissa and Bubbly, I'm not sleeping around or wearing tarty clothes or sneaking out like they do. I get the best grades of everyone! I'm Head Girl, for Merlin's sake! But they just don't _see all those things."_

            "Parents _never see the good things." Sev said understandingly. We were walking across the lawns together. After what had happened, I'd just had to get out of the castle._

            "_Anyone can pass the exams, if they study, or can try and catch a guy," I muttered. "But who can pitch a pass like Pendragon?"_

            Sev looked thoughtfully at me. "Why don't you just play, and not tell them?" he suggested. "I mean, Cissa's been sneaking out to Hogsmeade to see Luc for years, and now they're getting married, no-one cares. I bet she'll tell you where the secret passages are. What your family don't know won't hurt 'em."

            "Why should I have to lie?" I sighed. "It's not like I'm sleeping around or anything."

            "Lily!"

            Abby was running to catch us up. Quickly I wiped my eyes again. "Hi, Abby," I said, as cheerfully as I could. "This is Sev. Sev, this is Abby from the team."

            "Hi, all right?" Sev grinned at her. "Lily's got it good with your team."

            "We've got high hopes for her," Abby smiled back. "Especially me."

            I looked down at the ground. "Professor Morgan doesn't want me to play any more," I blurted out.

            "What?! But that's crap!" Abby sounded horrified. "Listen, my mum's never wanted _me to play since I started. You just can't take no for an answer."_

            I glanced at her. "Really?"

            Abby nodded. "Yeah, she's convinced I'm too much of a tomboy. Whenever I go home for the holidays she tries to make me wear girly clothes, and go out with this guy we know called Kevin."

            "But my cousin's getting married soon, and everyone's totally stressed out," I explained. "I won't be able to get out of the castle for training and matches anyway."

            "Come on, Lily, you can't leave me alone out there," Abby urged. "James's told me he's got a scout coming over from the professional teams."

            I remembered what Abby said about playing professionally in England now, and felt a stab of envy. That was never going to happen for _me._

"Anyway, don't worry about Professor Morgan," Abby went on confidently. "I'll show you a couple of secret passages down into Hogsmeade."

            "But she'll notice I'm never there… she's not stupid."

            "Just say you've joined a study group, with me. There _are_ NEWTs coming up, after all."

            That was a great idea. I glanced at Sev, who nodded. It might just work. 

            "So, now we've got that sorted –" Abby grinned widely at us and whipped out her wand to summon her broom "– are you going to show me what your fella can do or what?"

            "Oh, he's not my fella," I said, at exactly the same time as Sev said, "I'm not her boyfriend.

            We looked at each other, embarrassed, and then Sev summoned his broom and scooted off after Abby.

            "Come on, Lily," Abby yelled over her shoulder. "Are you playing or what?"

            I ran after them, summoning my broom as I went. I felt better, but not much. I was going to carry on playing, but I was going to have to lie to do it. I didn't know if I could pull it off. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Lily! Eat something before you go!"

            "Kate, I'm in a hurry," I yelled from my dorm. "I was due in the library ten minutes ago."

            "You can't study on an empty stomach," Kate bustled out of her office, conjuring a plate of bread and butter as she went. In the common room Cissa was rushing about trying to find various bits of her uniform – she and Luc had been rather 'busy' earlier.

            "No, I've got to go, Kate," I said firmly, waving the food away. "Bye." I wanted to be well away from the dungeons before Cissa left.

            I slammed the door behind me, and hurried around the corner and behind a tapestry, where I'd hidden my broom and sports robes the night before, then legged it to the mirror on the fourth floor, where one of the secret passages began.

            I'd been doing this every evening for about a week now. Kate, Mike and Cissa thought I was part of a study group that met in the library. Instead I was in Hogsmeade, practising with the Horntails. I felt really bad about lying – as well as scared stiff that someone would see me somewhere they shouldn't. I kept telling myself it wasn't like I was doing anything wrong, per se. I mean, I wasn't getting pregnant, or stealing, or torturing Muggles or anything. I was just playing Quidditch, trying to get better at something I was already good at. 

             And I _was_ getting better. James was such a brilliant coach, it was impossible not to learn from him. He spent a lot of time with me, Abby and the other Chaser, Rosmerta from the village, working on our teamwork and teaching us fancy moves we could use on the pitch. He worked us pretty hard, but the four of us had a good laugh too. The more we trained together, the more I liked him.

            Abby was always flirting with him, and staring at him when we were training. James would've been blind not to notice, but he never gave any sign that he had. I wondered if he fancied her too. I couldn't tell. Still, it wasn't really any of my business…

            The day of our first match of the summer tournament against the Chiswick Cheetahs came around, I felt nervous, but I couldn't wait to get out on to the pitch. This wasn't like playing out on the Hogwarts lawns, or the games in our training sessions. This was the real thing.

            "All right, Lily?" James asked me quietly as we filed out of the changing rooms.

            I blushed, and Abby, who was just ahead of me, turned around curiously to look at us. Don't ask me why I went red, I don't know – I just did. "Yeah, no problem," I muttered.

            "OK, go out there and do your stuff," James said, and turned away.

            And suddenly, when I was out on the pitch, everything seemed to come together. Joining the Horntails had been the best thing in my whole life so far, and I'd loved the training sessions, pushing myself harder and getting better and better. But out on the pitch, playing a real game, was what it was all about. Adrenaline raced through me as we gathered around the centre circle, waiting for the referee to release the balls. I was up for this, and I was going to do my best.

            Mel was right. The Cheetahs had a great defence, and it took us a while to break them down. An hour into the game, only three goals had been scored against them, whereas they'd managed five. After another half-hour with a couple of missed penalties, Abby slotted a Quaffle to me, exploiting a gap left by the Beaters. I swooped up and hurled the Quaffle through the hoop.

            "Yes!" I yelled. My first goal in a proper, real-life match! I was so excited, I cartwheeled across my broom, before loop-the looping exuberantly. As the other girls rushed over to congratulate me, I looked over at James. He was grinning at me, and I glowed with pride.

            After that, we were unstoppable. We won the match 270-80, with a spectacular capture of the Snitch by Verinelle, our Seeker. I was ecstatic – I couldn't give this up. Even if I had to lie to keep on playing.

            After that, I began to relax a bit, and the days settled into a routine. Most evenings after lessons I'd collect my bag from behind the tapestry, and dash off to training. Afterwards I'd give my dirty kit to Abby and she'd take it to the house-elves – I couldn't risk Kate catching me with it. The team were still playing in the first few rounds of the tournament, and we had several more matches. We won them all, and I scored some crackers, as well as setting up goals for the others. When we had weekend games, it was more difficult to get away, though – I had to tell Kate I had Head Girl duty, or I was tutoring students. Luckily none of the teachers seemed to notice that my work was not improving, despite the hours I spent 'studying'!

            I was getting on better with Kate too, because I'd agreed to wear a little make-up. I even helped out in a couple of her lessons when I had free periods. 

            Everything seemed to be going brilliantly. My family was happy, the team was happy – I was happy. It was perfect.

            You know what?

            It couldn't last.

            A few weeks later, I was in the changing rooms, getting dressed after a training session. I'd kind of got used to getting changed in front of the others now, and I didn't feel uncomfortable sitting there in my sports bra and shorts next to Abby, while I took off my trainers.

            "Is that right then, Lily?" Becca, the Keeper, asked me as she towelled her hair dry. "Your family have no idea you've been playing all this time?"

            I shrugged. "Nah, they haven't." Now I felt more comfortable around the other girls, I'd let them in on my little secret.

            "Where do they think you are, then?" Mel asked.

            "School." I pulled off one of my trainers. "They think I've joined a study group."

            "Blimey." Mel looked a bit startled. "That's not on."

            "Slytherin girls aren't supposed to play Quidditch," I explained helpfully.

            "That's a bit backward, innit?" Mel remarked, picking up her towel.

            "Yeah, but it ain't just a Slytherin thing, is it?" Abby cut in. "I mean, how many people come out to support us?"

            Mel ignored her and grinned at me. "So, are you betrothed to someone? I heard all the Slytherins had arranged marriages."

            "Nah, I'm Muggleborn," I said. "My blood's too dirty for an arranged marriage." All the other girls in the changing room were listening now too. "My cousin's getting married soon, but that's a love-match."

            "What's that mean?"

            "It's not arranged," I replied.

            "So, if you can choose," Becca said, looking interested, "can you marry anyone you like?"

            I shook my head. "Slytherin's full of purebloods, none of them would have me. Hufflepuff, nope. Ravenclaw, maybe. Gryffindor, I'd be disowned. And you don't want to see what would happen to me if I wanted to marry a Muggle." I drew my finger across my throat.

            Mel and the others looked shocked.

            "So you'll probably end up with a Ravenclaw, then?" Abby asked, packing our kit away in her sports bag.

            "Probably."

            Mel was shaking her head. "I don't know how you put up with it."

            I shrugged. "Kate and Mike are my only family. Where else would I go? And Slytherin's a different culture – I'm not certain I'd survive a rebellion – after all, I'm an orphaned Mudblood, no connections, no other family. Anyway," I said, trying to lift the tension I'd created, "it's better than sleeping around with boys you're not going to end up marrying. What's the point in that?"

            They all burst out laughing.

            "That's the best bit!" giggled Verinelle, the Seeker.

            "Yeah, you should know," Becca retorted.

            They all laughed even harder. I turned pink, and pulled my school robes over my head.

            "When are you going to get a decent broom, Lily?" Abby asked, as we went outside. "You want a Nimbus 1000, like mine. It's only been out a few years, it's amazing compared to the Cleansweeps or the Comets."

            "It looks a bit pricey," I said doubtfully, but I was thinking hard. If I was going to take my game seriously, I really should get my own broom. At the moment, I was still using the tatty one James had given me. There must be a way I could get the money for a new one…

            I headed back to Hogwarts, dumped my bag behind the tapestry as usual and went back to the common room. Kate was sitting on the sofa, scaring the first years. She was marking essays while watching a film on her Ocu-globe with Quintius Umfraville, her favourite actor. I was knackered, and was dying for something to eat.

            "Kate," I said in my sweetest voice, "I'm _really _starving. I had to work all through lunch today. Is it alright if I go down to the kitchens?"

            Kate had been fussing around me ever since I started my 'study group' so I was hoping there wouldn't be a problem. Instead, she just stared at me.

            "Where's Narcissa?" she asked, looking over my shoulder at the door into the room. "She went to the library to find you, you need to be measured up for dress robes for the wedding, and I didn't want you to be late."

            My stomach flipped over and my heart began to pound. It was so loud, I was surprised Kate couldn't hear it. I was desperately trying to think of an explanation which would cover me, when the door opened.

            Total panic. I looked round as Cissa came in, looking pissed off. She gave me a filthy look, and I gulped.

            Was she going to give me away?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

            I stared pleadingly at Cissa, as she shut the door to the common room. If she told Kate I hadn't been tutoring students at all, I was going to be in _big trouble. No, wipe that – HUGE trouble. They'd probably never let me set foot outside the common room again._

            "Narcissa, why didn't you fetch your cousin from the library?" Kate asked, rolling up the scroll she'd been marking.

            "I went, but Madam Pince said I'd just missed her," Cissa replied, staring hard at me.

            I'd been holding my breath, and now I let it out with a sigh of relief. I was safe – for the moment.

            "Malvira's on her way." Kate got up from the sofa. "I need to prepare for tomorrow."

            Cissa waited till Kate had gone into the kitchen, then she grabbed my arm, dragged me off the sofa, and hustled me into the corner of the room. As far away from Kate as she could get.

            "All right," she whispered eagerly. "Who is he, then?"

            I looked blank. I'd been expecting her to have a go at me. "Who?"

            "You must think I'm stupid or something," Cissa snapped. "I know what you're up to, lying about a study group!"

            "You can't say anything to Kate or Mike," I gabbled, panicking all over again. "Remember, I kept Luc a secret for you."

            Cissa suddenly looked worried. "He's not a Gryffindor, is he?"

            I shook my head. "Ssh! Nothing like that. I've been playing Quidditch with a women's team."

            Cissa's eyes widened, and she looked at me as if I was mad. "It's worse than I thought," she muttered.

            "It's a proper tournament," I explained. "They're real matches."

            Cissa grabbed my arm again. "What's _wrong_ with you, Lily?" she hissed, looking completely puzzled. "If you're going to go to all this bother lying, at least do it for something good! Don't you want a boyfriend like everyone else?"

            I sighed, rolling my eyes. Why was it so impossible for her to understand?

            "You know, you're quite pretty," Cissa went on, studying my face intently. "If you just did something with your hair and put a bit of makeup on, you'd look all right."

            "Leave her alone, Narcissa." We both jumped as Kate came in with a stack of papers and two mugs of tea. "I never put makeup on 'til after I was married. Lily's a good girl now." She beamed at me. "She's studying hard for her NEWTs, and she helped me with my lesson plans last week."

            I smiled back at Kate, feeling a bit guilty. Luckily, Malvira arrived just then, which got Cissa off my case. She would never understand why I was going behind Kate and Mike's back to play Quidditch, and there wasn't any point in trying to explain it to her. Just as long as she kept my secret. And it looked like she was going to, thank Merlin.

            Malvira was the seamstress who made most of our robes. She bustled round, unpacking her tape measure and chatting to Kate. Cissa stood up to be measured first, while I sat thinking about how I could get my hands on a new broom. I had a bit of money, but not enough for a Nimbus.

            "Waist, 25 inches," Malvira muttered, wrapping to tape measure around Cissa. "Under bust, 28 inches. Bust – "

            Cissa grabbed hold of the tape measure and pulled it tighter. Kate frowned at her.

            "No, that's too tight and rude," she complained.

            "Nah, Kaitlyn," Cissa argued. "I want my robes more fitted. That's the style, innit?"

            "OK." Malvira pulled the tape measure tighter. "Bust, 34 and a half."

            "Tighter," Cissa whispered.

            "And how are you going to breathe?" Kate snapped.

            It was my turn. I dragged myself up from the sofa. "Kate, I can wear the same clothes all day," I moaned. "Why do I have to wear a dress for the reception? It'll just fall down – can't I wear my dress robes?"

            "Your first gown is for when you become a woman," Kate retorted. "Malvira, she needs a full gown with petticoats, as well as dress robes."

            Malvira started measuring me. "Bust, 31 inches – "

            "No, that's too tight," I said quickly. "I want it looser."

            Kate snorted. "Dressed in a sack, who's going to notice you?"

            "Don't worry," Malvira said. "In one of our designs, even these mosquito bites will look like juicy-juicy mangoes!"

            The three of them burst out laughing, while I pulled a face. But suddenly an idea popped into my head…

            "Kate," I began innocently, "I'll need to buy different shoes, then. One pair to go with the gown and the other to go with my robes."

            "What?" Cissa said, looking stunned.

            Kate turned to her. "You see, she's coming into line," she murmured approvingly.

            "I've got a little money – I could probably pay for one pair," I went on hopefully, "but could you give me some money for the other pair?"

            Kate beamed and nodded. "You need one black and one white to go with everything."

            She, Cissa and Malvira were looking delightedly at me. What they _didn't_ know was that I was planning to spend almost all the money on a racing broom – and that _definitely_ wouldn't go with my new robes or my gown…

            "That's the one, Lily!" Abby said gleefully, looking through the windows of _Quaffles and Quodpot, the sports emporium in Hogsmeade. The Nimbus 1000 was beautiful, all sleek and gleaming. I had to have it._

            Excitement welling up in me, we went in. We'd gone to weekend training, but stayed in Hogsmeade after, so I could buy myself a broom.

            "OK, I'll take it," I said at last, finally feeling like a real player as I clutched the Nimbus. I handed over the money, and then took the precious bag. I couldn't stop peeking inside at it. My very own broom!

            "Where shall we go now?" I asked, as we came out of the shop.

            "Haven't you got to buy some shoes for the wedding?" Abby reminded me. 

            I pulled a face. "Yeah, but I've only got six Galleons left." The broom had been more expensive than I'd thought.

            "What about that place over there?" Abby pointed at a nearby shop called _Stylish Shoes. "That looks cheap and nasty."_

            "Thanks a lot!" I laughed.

            It _was cheap. I got a pair of black loafers for 4 Galleons, 7 sickles. That ought to shut Kate up, I thought with satisfaction as we left the shop. Now I just had to make sure I kept my new broom out of her way._

            "I don't really want to go home yet," Abby said, as we headed back through the side streets. She stopped outside a pub called _The Hog's Head_. "Let's have a drink."

            "I can't go in there," I said nervously. I'd never been there before, preferring to stick to the more reputable _Three Broomsticks_. "Someone I know might see me."

            "Aw, come on, Lily." Abby took my arm and dragged me inside. She sat me down at a table and went to the bar while I looked around the smoke-filled pub nervously. Once I was sure there was no one I knew there, I relaxed a bit. 

            Abby came back with a mead for herself and a Butterbeer for me. I couldn't help envying her. She seemed so sure of herself. She knew exactly what she wanted to do and where she was going. And here was me, who'd never even drunk alcohol.

            "When's this scout coming, then?" I asked her, remembering what she'd said when we were out on the lawns. 

            Abby shrugged. "Dunno." She lifted her glass and took a drink. "But I hope it's soon. You know what really pisses me off, Lily? There's no money in the women's game over here. We're _years_ behind Europe."

            "But we beat most of them in the World Cup," I pointed out.

            "That's the blokes," Abby replied. "The girls are different. The Austrian women's team, right, they went on _strike_ to demand they got paid the same as the men." She grinned at me. "And they won! One of our England team is a Knight Bus conductor to pay her way. Can you see Pendragon having to do that?"

            I shook my head. "I still can't believe that women get paid for playing Quidditch."

            "Gloria Itriwi, one of the Italian players, makes _millions_ in sponsorship," Abby said, a serious look on her face. "And I want to be up there with her. I've got a place in the Department of Magical Games and Sports, but if James does get these scouts over from Europe…" She shrugged. "Who knows?"

            "You're so lucky," I said enviously. "I have to go into the Ministry – probably something really boring, like the Floo Network Authority."

            Abby looked me straight in the eye. "And is that what you really _want to do?" she asked._

            I couldn't say anything. I knew what I _wanted_ to do, and it was exactly the same thing as Abby. Go to Europe and become a professional Quidditch player and earn loads of money doing the one thing I loved. The problem was, I knew that I'd never be allowed to do it.

            "Kaitlyn, she's back!"

            _Shut up, Cissa, I cursed silently as I hurried into the common room. Kate and Mike were sitting in the sofa in their office, but Cissa was studying in the common room, so she'd spotted me clambering into the common room. I'd been hoping to come in quietly without any fuss, shoot upstairs and hide my broom under the bed where nobody would see it._

            "Liliana!" Kate turned round and stared at me. "You've been gone all day for two pairs of shoes? Come here."

            "It's not that late, Kate," I said, edging towards the stairs. "I was looking at other things too, like – "I had to think for a minute " – handbags."

            Cissa came across the room, and raised her eyebrows. "Let me see 'em," she demanded.

            "Not yet," I gabbled. "I'll try them on with my robes."

            I headed for the dorm. I made it halfway up the stairs, but Cissa ran after me and grabbed the carrier bag. I raced down the stairs after her, but she jumped onto the sofa with Mike and Kate, and handed the bag to Kate. My heart sank. I leaned over the sofa, trying to get the bag back, but suddenly Kate grabbed my jacket and pulled me closer. Then she started sniffing me like a mad thing.

            "Have you been _smoking?" she asked furiously._

            "No!" I gasped. I groaned inwardly, remembering how smoky the pub had been. I must stink of it, and Kate's got a nose like a bloodhound.

            "Salazar!" Kate moaned, sniffing me again. "Smoke _and_ drink!"

            "Look, I had to go to the loo, so I went into a pub with my friend," I gabbled. "I had a Butterbeer – look, you can smell my breath."

            Mike jumped up from the sofa and came around to sniff at me. "She could be right," he admitted.    

            Kate looked slightly less stressed. That didn't last long though. She opened the shoe box and took out the black loafers. She stared at them in disgust, and Cissa pulled a face.

            "These don't even have any heel," Kate pointed out crossly. "How will your gown fall nicely in these?"

            "I'll take them back," I mumbled, desperate to stop them moving the box and see the shrunken broom underneath. "Give me the bag."

            But it was too late. Kate already had the box out the way and was holding my precious broom with a look of revulsion. "A _Quidditch_ broom," she wailed, and buried her head face in her hands as if she were about to burst into tears.

            "You can't take it back, Lily," Abby said firmly. The whole team was on the grass doing sit-ups. We were in two long lines facing each other, and Abby was opposite me.

            "I've got to," I muttered. The hassle I'd got was unbelievable. I'd been warned again that Quidditch was out. Luckily, my family hadn't realised that I'd been playing all this time for the Horntails without them knowing, and Cissa had kept her mouth shut too. "Kate told me I had to take it back and get some proper shoes for the wedding."

            "Don't worry about it," Abby said between gasps. "Come over to my dorm after this, and I'll sort you out."

            "Come on, girls," James yelled. He was standing at the top of the two lines, keeping a sharp eye on us. "Wake up!"

            "God, Kate had a fit when she saw the broom," I grumbled. "And I smelt like a bleeding ashtray too. I've got detention with Filch for a week. How the hell am I going to survive _that?"_

            "Yak, yak, yak, Lily!"

            I looked up to find James staring hard at me.

            "Everything all right?" he asked in a softer voice.

            "Yes, coach," I said.

            "Training getting in the way of your cosy little conversation?" he enquired.

            "No, coach," I said nervously.

            "Good!" he shouted, making me jump. "So you won't mind five laps running around the pitch, then. Elbows to knees as you go."

            I got to my feet, wishing he hadn't said that. My right ankle was hurting me at the moment, and it had got worse during training. But I wasn't going to argue.

            That didn't stop Abby, though. "James, that's totally out of order!" she exclaimed.

            "I don't remember telling the rest of you to stop," I heard James shout as I ran off around the pitch, lifting my knees up high. "C'mon, move it! You're doing really well. Just keep it up for the next fifteen minutes."

            I carried on running round the pitch. My ankle twinged every so often and I winced. It felt as though I'd sprained it slightly. But I was determined to keep going.

            The training session finished just as I was completing my fourth lap, and I watched the other girls going back to the changing-room. My ankle was really beginning to hurt now and I was limping.

            "All right, Lily." James came running over to me, looking concerned. "You can stop now."

            "No, I'm OK," I panted. "I've just got one more lap."

            "I said, Stop," James said sternly. "You're doing yourself an injury." He took my arm. "Come on, let's have a look at you."

            "It's nothing…"

            "Sit down," James pointed at the grass. "And let me decide if it's nothing or not."

            I eased myself down on to the grass, biting my lip. James knelt down and undid my boot, then he slipped my sock off gently. I felt hot all over. I knew I was red in the face, and it wasn't just because I'd been running either.

            "Why didn't you tell me you'd twisted it?" James asked. He put his hand on the sole of my foot and rotated it gently.

            "I didn't want you to think I wasn't as strong as the others," I muttered. The feel of his warm hand on my bare skin was doing weird things to my insides.

            James shook his head. "That's stupid, Lily. Look, my dad was my coach and the scouts kept telling him I was too slight to play, but he kept pushing me. That's how I injured my knee."

            "You mean, your dad made you?" I asked softly.

            "I wanted to show him I wasn't soft," James replied. "So I tried to play injured." His face shadowed. "He was always a bastard, anyway."

            "You shouldn't say that about your dad," I murmured. 

            James glanced up at me, and my heart started to thunder in my ears. "You don't know my dad."

            He helped me up, then put one arm round my shoulder and the other round my waist. I froze, and just about managed to stop myself gasping aloud. It was the closest I'd ever been to a boy before. And I was enjoying it. If Zott or Matthews or any of the others, even Sev, had tried it, I would probably have punched them on the nose. But this was different. The way I felt about James was different.

            I was falling for him.

            And I couldn't do a damn thing about it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

            I stared intently at the photo of James and Abby on the dressing table. Abby had left me on guard in her dorm-room while she went to nick a pair of her roommate's shoes for me to borrow. I'd been studying the posters of women Quidditch players on the walls, when I'd spotted the photo. Abby and James had their arms wrapped around each other, and they were jumping up and down, celebrating. As I watched, photo-Abby learned across and kissed photo-James on the cheek. I felt a bit jealous, although I tried not to be. Nothing was going to happen between me and James anyway. He was an ex-Gryffindor, for a start. My family would kill me! It was almost kind-of okay for me to hang around with Abby, because we were just friends. But I could just imagine my family's faces if I brought home James and said he was my boyfriend.

            The way I felt about James had kind of shocked me. I'd never thought about a boy that way before, and it had sort of crept up on me without me noticing. My head was spinning as I tried to analyse exactly _why_ I liked him. OK, he was good-looking, but it wasn't just that. It was the way he understood exactly why I loved playing Quidditch, and how important it was to me. We were on the same wavelength.

            I was still staring dreamily at the photo when a pair of black, high-heeled shoes with diamante bows were suddenly thrust under my nose.

            "Just give 'em back after the wedding," Abby said with a grin. "Chloe loves them. She stuck the bows on herself, would you believe."

            The shoes were a bit fussy for me, but Kate would like them, so at least they would shut her up. "Are you sure she won't miss them?" I asked.

            Abby shrugged. "Nah, she's got a million pairs." She hesitated for a moment, then went on. "Listen, I hope James isn't too hard on you. Some of the girls think he's strict."

            "Oh no," I said, knowing that I was blushing. "He was really nice." That sounded like I fancied him, so I quickly added, "Really professional."

            I glanced at the photo again, wanting to ask Abby if she really did have the hots for him. But I was too shy.

            Abby followed my gaze, and her face lit up. "Oh, I love that picture," she said. "It was taken just after we beat Ravenclaw a couple of years ago – James was our captain." Smiling to herself, she went over to her Ocu-globe and flicked her wand at it. "Come on, you've got to see this. It's wicked!"

            A logo appeared on the TV screen – _Women's European Quidditch League._ I gasped as the picture switched to a large Quidditch stadium full of fans, watching a match between two women's teams. 

            "Wow! That's amazing!"

            "Yeah, we don't get anything like that here, do we?" Abby muttered, her gaze fixed on the Ocu-globe.

            The images were a montage of action from Quidditch matches – some mixed, some women only – and everything looked really slick and professional, about a million miles away from the Hogsmeade Horntails. I watched as one player, a woman with her dark hair tied up in a ponytail, took a penalty, feinting to the side, then blasting it past the Keeper and through the hoop. 

            "That's Gloria Itriwi – she's incredible. I want to follow in her footsteps," Abby told me, as the team in the globe celebrated.

            We watched the scenes until the end. Abby was right – it was like a different would. I really envied her having the chance to play in Europe or even England professionally. When the scouts James had mentioned came to visit, they were bound to be interested in Abby. _And what about me_, whispered a tiny voice at the back of my mind. I pushed it away. It didn't matter one way or the other if the scout was interested in me. I wouldn't be going anywhere.

            "So, Lily." Abby turned the Ocu-globe off and looked at me. "When are you going to tell your folks about your game?"

            I groaned. "Oh, I dunno."

            "You can't keep lying to them," Abby pointed out. "You're too good – "

            "Abby?" Someone was calling, coming up the stairs. "Abs, darling?"

            "It's Chloe," Jules hissed. "Quick, hide the shoes."

            I dived across the room, and shoved the shoes into my bag. Then we both sat down on the bed, looking innocent.

            "Abby?" Chloe came into the dorm, and stopped short. "Oh, you've got company."

            Chloe was wearing cut off jeans and a tight blue shirt with high-heeled mules and lots of gold jewellery. She looked very glamorous. Her hair was blonde and wavy, and she was beautifully made up. Her cleavage was a bit over the top, though. Abby had told me that her roommates were all like this, and tried to make her the same. Once they had stolen all her sports bras, to try and make Abby were something lacy. A severe hexing put them off the idea, but they were still always on at poor Abby to be more girly. Chloe and the rest just didn't seem to get that Abby wasn't interested. 

            "Chloe, this is Lily," Abby said.

            Chloe beamed at me. "Hi, babe." Then she frowned. "Lily. You're Slytherin?"

            "Yeah," I blushed and looked down at the floor. "The Morgans are my cousins."

            "The Morgans? That's nice. Lovely." Chloe nodded encouragingly at me. Apparently, rich, pureblood relatives made up for the fact I was in Slytherin. "Well, Lily, I bet your dorm doesn't look like this – with all these great big butch women on the walls." She scrunched up her face in disgust and waved a hand at Abby's posters.

            "Chloe!" Abby groaned. 

            Chloe homed in on me again. "Oh, your cousin's engaged to Lucius, isn't she?" She sat down on the bed next to me. "What's she wearing for the wedding? I bet it's gorgeous. And she must have tons of beautiful jewellery. Do you think I'll be invited?"

            I tried not to laugh. Beside me, Abby rolled her eyes and pulled a face.

            "Cheeky bitch," Chloe said fondly to Abby. "You're a lucky girl, aren't you, Lily? I expect your cousin will soon be fixing you up with a nice, handsome medi-wizard – a gorgeous girl like you."

            "Chloe!" Abby shrieked. "Stop embarrassing yourself!"

            Chloe looked hurt. "I'm just being friendly, Abigail," she said. "You don't mind, do you, Lily, babe? 'Course not. Now, did you meet in classes, or are you in Abby's study group?"

            I didn't have to reply because Abby did it for me. 

            "She's a Quidditch player," she said with a grin. "Lily is on the team with me."

            Chloe looked as if Abby had said I was a serial killer or something. She was obviously shocked and disappointed, and her face fell. I was dying to burst out laughing, but I couldn't because it would have been rude. I bit my lip hard, and managed to hold it in until Abby had rushed me out of the common room after a hasty goodbye. We made it to just outside the portrait, and then we just collapsed in hysterics, clutching each other for support.

            "Did you see her _face_?" Abby giggled.

            "_Abigail," I snorted, doing a crap impression of Chloe._

            "_Liliana_," Abby joined in, and we laughed even harder.

            I was in a pretty good mood by the time I got back to the common room. Even my ankle was feeling better. I bounced in through the door, beaming all over my face – and came to a sudden stop. The first person I saw was Cissa. She was standing in the dormitory doorway, a hanky clutched in her hand. Mike was standing by the fireplace looking stern, and Kate looked tearful too. Lucius's awful parents were sitting on the sofa, staring at me like I was a piece of dirt on the floor. 

            "Good evening, Mr Malfoy, Mrs Malfoy." I greeted them nervously, wondering what the hell was going on. The atmosphere in the common room was arctic – all the students had sought sanctuary in their dorm rooms or the library – and everyone was glaring at _me_, for some reason.

"Look, we're not _trying_ to cause trouble," Lucius's dad said silkily. "We just felt it our duty to tell you. Now it is a matter for your own family." His eyes glinted maliciously as he glanced over at me.

Lucius's mum stood up too, her face even grimmer than usual.

"Listen." Mike came forward, looking upset. "You know how hard it is for our children here. All mixed up, inter-house relationships _encouraged by most of the staff. Sometimes they misjudge things, make mistakes…"_

Lucius's mum looked unconvinced. "All I know is that children are a map of their parents," she snapped, turning on her heel and gliding after her husband towards the door. "Good day."

I stood aside as they went out. What on _earth_ was going on?

"You stupid flippin' cow!" Cissa yelled, charging across the common room towards me, as the door shut behind Luc's parents. 

"You've ruined your cousin's life!" Kate wailed. "Are you happy now?"

I just stared at them with my mouth open. I didn't have a clue what they were going on about.

"My whole wedding's been called off because of you," Cissa sobbed.

"_Me!" I couldn't believe my ears. "_Why?_"_

            "They saw you," Kate snapped. "Being…" She searched for the right word. "_Filthy_ with a Gryffindor boy!"

            "They're lying!" I gasped. "I wasn't with any Gryffindor boy."

            "They saw you today outside the Gryffindor common-room kissing him," Cissa retorted furiously. "You bitch! Why couldn't you do it in secret like everybody else?"

            "Kissing? Me? A boy?" I spluttered. "You're mad, you're all bloody mad!"

            "Liliana, don't use those swearing words," Mike said sharply.

            Suddenly, I got it. Outside the common room. Gryffindor boy. Trust Lucius's dumb parents to make a mistake like that. The _idiots.___

"I _was outside the Gryffindor common-room today with my friend Abigail," I explained quickly. "She's a __girl. And we weren't kissing or anything, for Merlin's sake." I had to convince them I was telling the truth or I'd never be allowed out of the common room again._

            Mike pointed at the picture of Salazar Slytherin over the fireplace. "Swear by Salazar," he said sternly.

            "I swear on Slytherin's name," I said quietly.

            Everyone was silent, except for Cissa who was siting on the sofa, sobbing. 

            "These modern girls have such short hair," Kate muttered, sinking into a chair. "Sometimes you just can't tell."

            "They must have made a mistake," Mike agreed.

            "That boy's shameless parents are just making an excuse," Kate went on. "We were never good enough for them."

            My knees felt wobbly with relief – until Narcissa opened her big mouth again.

            "No, Kaitlyn, it's all _her_ fault," she moaned. "I bet she was with some dykey girl from her Quidditch team. She's still been playing, you know."

            "Cissa!" I hissed.

            "She ain't been studying or nothing," Cissa went on hysterically. "She's been lying!"

            Kate and Mike stared at me, totally shocked. I groaned. Now I really _was for it._

            "Oh, Salazar!" Kate wailed dramatically. "Not only a deceiving sister, but a deceiving cousin as well! What did I do wrong in my past life?"

            Cissa pointed an accusing finger at me. "She's the one who's ruined _my_ life – "

            "Be quiet!" Kate broke in crossly. "Do you think I don't know you'd been sneaking out with that good-for-nothing Lucius?"

            That shut Cissa up. Kate looked from me to Cissa and back again. I knew exactly what she was going to say. 

            "Well, that's it," she snapped. "Neither of you are leaving this common-room except for lessons and meals until you graduate!"

            So that was the end of my Quidditch career, such as it was. I had to come straight back to the dorm after dinner every night, and I wasn't allowed on Hogsmeade weekends, so I couldn't get to the training sessions. I was gutted, and Cissa was as miserable as I was. The wedding was still off, even though Lucius's parents had been told the truth. Like Kate said, they were using it as an excuse to split Luc and Cissa up.

            I was bored out of my mind. I kept wondering how the other girls were getting on in training, and who'd replace me in the next match of the tournament, which was coming up. And I couldn't get James out of my head. Was I ever going to see him again? It didn't seem very likely.

            The whole of Slytherin was like a morgue. Kate was still mad at both of us, and she snapped at anyone who came near her, traumatising several first years. Mike was upset too. He'd taken decorations down, so all the airheads in Hufflepuff and Gryffindor were gossiping about the wedding not happening. No Slytherins did, though – they didn't want to risk Kate or Cissa's wrath. Cissa had taken a sickie from lessons, and was spending all her time in her room, crying. I was sent upstairs every mealtime to see if she was coming down to eat or not.

            "Cissa?" I stuck my head tentatively through the curtains on her four-poster bed. It was a few days later, and Kate was finally starting to calm down. I'd missed two training sessions by now, and I was wondering what James was thinking. Would he be worried? Would he ask Abby where I was? I'd thought about meeting her to tell her what had happened, but I couldn't see any point. It was too painful to be reminded about what I was missing.

            "Cissa?" I pushed the curtains back warily. We hadn't really made up since the row. "It's dinner-time. Are you coming down?"

            Cissa shook her head. She was sitting on her bed her eyes swollen and red, clutching a wet tissue. She was surrounded by every cuddly toy and giant, schmaltzy card that Luc had ever bought her. 

            "Sorry I told them about your Quidditch," she muttered.

            "It's OK." I gave her a hug. "They'd have found out soon enough. They always do."

            I went downstairs, feeling better now that Cissa and I were talking again. Kate and Mike were waiting for me in the common room to go down to the Great Hall.

            "How's your cousin?" Kate asked. "It's time she stopped crying now. She's lucky she found out what awful in-laws she nearly had."

            We walked across the room in silence. None of us felt like talking. Just as I opened my mouth, someone knocked on the door.

            The only people who would know where the door was, but not have the password were ex-students. Before any of us could move, Cissa came thundering down the stairs. "I'll get it!" she yelled. She was obviously hoping it was Lucius.

            Cissa flung open the door eagerly. I turned round to see who it was – and nearly passed out on the spot.

            "Hello," said James.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

            I carried the tray into the room with shaking hands, hoping no-one would notice the cups rattling on their saucers. There was an awkward silence in the common room. Mike, Kate and Cissa were sitting staring at James, and not in a friendly way. But at least they hadn't kicked him out without hearing what he had to say. 

            I put the tray down on a coffee table, and handed James a cup.

            "Thanks, Lily," he said quietly.

            I sat down on a corner of the sofa, stealing a glance at him. It was great to see him again. My heart was thumping and my insides were flipping every time he looked at me. But I had to be careful. Cissa could spot a romance a mile away. If Kate and Mike suspected that I was crazy about my coach, my chances of playing for the team again would be even more microscopic than they were right now.

            I wondered if James had come just to find out why I hadn't been at training, or if Abby had told him that my family hadn't known I was playing for the team all this time. Either way, he'd probably guessed the situation by now, based on the dirty looks he was getting.

            James cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to barge in on you like this, Mr Charbet, Professor Morgan," he said, "but I wanted to talk to you in person. I only found out today that you didn't know Lily was playing for our team."

            "No, we didn't," Kate snapped.

            "I apologise." James looked straight at Kate, and I loved him for it. Abby must have told him, so he'd known when he decided to come here that it was going to be tough. Not to mention the fact that he'd been taught by Kate, and knew perfectly well what she was like. He'd still come though. Oh, I knew it was just because he wanted me back on the team, but it made me feel good. "If I'd known, I would have encouraged Lily to tell you – " he paused, then went on " – because I believe she's got tremendous potential."

            We all sat there in silence for a few seconds.

            "I think we know best our cousin's potential," Mike said quietly. "Lily has no time for games. She'll be going into the ministry once she's graduated."

            "But playing for the team is an honour," I blurted out, unable to keep quiet any longer.

            Kate glared at me. "What bigger honour is there than respecting your elders?" she demanded. 

            Dad looked at James. "Young man, when I was at school, all I wanted, more than anything in the world, was to be an Auror," he said curtly. "I studied hard, passed all the exams. But after leaving Hogwarts, I wasn't allowed to even take the entrance test. I was too small, too slight. They took one look at me and sent me packing."

            I looked down at the floor. I knew about this because Kate had told me, but Mike had never talked about it before. 

            "I'm sorry, Mr Charbet," James began. "But now –"

            "Now what?" Mike broke in. "Every other boy in the school dreams of being a Quidditch player. How many succeed? You think they will let our girls in? I don't want to build up Liliana's hopes –" he glanced over at me "– she'll only end up disappointed like me."

            "But, Mike, it's all changing now," I said desperately. "Look at Gloria Itriwi. She was voted Italian player of the year, and she's a woman."

            "Things are different in Europe," Kate said sternly. "You'll go into the ministry and do something useful."

            "But _Kate…"_

            It was no use. I could tell that they weren't going to give in. James got the message too. A few minutes later, he got up to leave without finishing his tea.

            I was determined to catch a quick word with him alone, so I walked to the Entrance Hall with him. Kate gave me a filthy look, but I didn't care. It would probably be the last time I ever saw him.

            "Sorry about that," I muttered as I pulled the common room door shut behind me. "But thanks for trying."

            James shrugged. "We've been invited to play a match in Hungary this Saturday. It's a shame you'll miss it."

            My eyes widened. "_Wow!_ Hungary? Really?" Then my face fell, as I realised that I had more chance of going to the North Pole.

            "I can see what you're up against," James said softly. "But your family don't always know what's best for you, Lily."

            I stood staring at him as he turned away and headed back to Hogsmeade on his broomstick. My mind was buzzing. _Your family don't always know what's best for you…_

James was right. 

            In this case, they didn't.

            "OK, you know what to do, yeah?" Cissa said impatiently, as we said goodbye in Hogsmeade.

            "Yeah, owl them twice a day," I replied, picking up the cage containing Morgana, my tawny owl. "They won't be able to tell I'm in Hungary, will they?"

            Cissa was covering for me while I was playing in Hungary. We'd forged a letter from my Muggle sister, Petunia, saying that Aunt Edith ( my only other remaining Muggle relative, who Petunia lived with) was seriously ill and wanted to see me in case she… well, died.

            "Trust me, I'm an expert at this." Cissa reassured me. "Look, there's your team."

            The girls were all sitting in the Knight Bus, and James was just climbing inside. He was pulling the door shut when he spotted me.

            I ran up, dragging my bag behind me. "My cousin's covering for me," I said breathlessly. "I'm supposed to be staying with my Muggle aunt in Surrey."

            James smiled at me. "I didn't hear that."

            I rushed on to the bus, and all the girls cheered. I made my way over to Abby, who was patting the empty bed next to her.

            "I knew you'd come," she said with a huge grin. "I even saved a space for you."

            "I wouldn't have missed it for anything." I grinned back at her, pushing the fact that I was deceiving my guardians to the back of my mind. I was going to enjoy myself, whatever happened.

            Things started off brilliantly. The bus journey was a laugh, and we picked up our Portkey from the Ministry of Magic with little fuss. When we arrived in Budapest, we were whisked on to a luxury bus for the short drive to our hotel. Abby and I were sharing a room, but we hardly had time to unpack before we were off for a tour of the city. 

            We floated invisible to Muggle eyes, above the crowds on large flying carpets. "Isn't this fab?" Abby yelled in my head as we sailed along. I nodded. Budapest was huge, a real mixture of old and new, with churches and museums right alongside big new shopping centres.

            "Come on, Lily." Abby whipped her camera out of her bag. "Say 'dungbomb'!"

            "What do you want a picture of _me_ for?" I laughed, doing a mock-sexy pout. I was playing to the camera a bit because I knew that James was looking at me. But it was liberating to know that no-one was going to see me and rush to tell Kate and Mike that I wasn't behaving myself properly.

            The match against the Hungarian team was in the evening, so we headed back to the hotel for lunch and a rest before we went over to the stadium. We were all up for the game massively. Even though it was a friendly, we were determined to win. I couldn't wait to get out on to the pitch – though there was a secret worry niggling away at the back of my mind. I'd missed several training sessions, and I hadn't even been playing out on the lawns with the lads like I used to. What if I wasn't fit enough for a long match?

            The Hungarian pitch was amazing. I reckon the Hungarian girls would have gone on strike if they'd had the same facilities we were expected to put up with at the Horntails. As I stood on the pitch that evening, waiting for Mel and the Hungarian captain to shake hands, I stared round at the immaculate green grass, the huge, comfortable stands filled with people, the state of the art floodlights and scoreboard. This was easily the biggest crowd I'd ever played in front of. I was desperate to do well.

            The ref released the balls, and the game began. The Hungarian team were no pushover. They obviously weren't considering the game as just a friendly either, and they were pretty physical. I got a bit frustrated after about forty-five minutes when nearly all my attempts to set something up with Abby and Rosmerta were blocked. The score after an hour or so seemed stuck on 40-30 to us.

            "Don't lose heart," James said during a time-out, after we'd been playing for two and a half hours and the score was only 80-60 to us. "We're blocking them just as effectively at our end. It's going to be a question of which side can hold out the longest. 

            I felt better as we flew back into the air. All my fears about not being fit enough seemed to be unfounded. The rest of the team seemed more motivated, too, and we quickly pulled ahead. It wasn't long before the game started to look like a massacre – after four hours of play, we'd scored 170 to the Hungarians' 70. 

            But I was starting to have problems. As the game wore on, with few sightings of the Snitch, I began to wheeze a bit. My pace started to drop, and I was having to push myself hard to keep up with the flow of play.

            Suddenly a shout from behind startled me. "Lily! Block her!" Mel yelled. 

            With a sinking heart, I saw the other team's Seeker below me, closing in on the Snitch, while Verraine was frantically trying to catch up. I dived down, chasing after her in an attempt to block her, but I couldn't catch her up. Luckily, one of our Beaters whacked a Bludger towards the Hungarian Seeker, distracting her for long enough that the Snitch disappeared once more. 

            That was too close, I thought gloomily. Mel saw my face and swooped over to have a word. "Don't worry, Lily," she said. "These things happen."

            _Yeah, but it wouldn't have happened if I was fit enough, I thought silently. It wasn't fair on the rest of the team. I was determined to make up for my error, and play harder than ever._

            It seemed to pay off. After over five hours of play, we were beating the Hungarians 230-90. I was almost on my last legs, but I saw another goal chance. I picked up the Quaffle from Rosmerta, and, as if by magic, a gap opened up in front of me. I got my second wind, and headed for the goalposts. 

            "Lily!" I could hear Abby shrieking as she flew alongside me. "_Pass!"_

            I glanced up and threw the Quaffle forward into space. Abby swooped up underneath it, grabbing it as I flew ahead to get into a good position for another pass. Jules lobbed it over the heads of the Hungarian Chasers, and I caught it. We just had to beat the Keeper now. I approached the goalposts, and the keeper eyed me warily. She'd grown cautious and was waiting for me to make a move. As I held back, waiting for her to falter, I heard Abby yelling loudly at me, but I was too involved in what I was doing to distinguish her words. As I feinted to the right, I heard a roar from the crowd, and turned in time to see the Hungarian Seeker raise the Snitch above her head in triumph. The Hungarians had won. 240-230. I groaned as I realised what Abby must have been yelling at me. If only I'd got on with it, and scored! We'd at least have drawn. I felt so bad, like someone had grabbed hold of my insides and ripped them out. Gutted, in other words.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_Dear Kate and Mike,_

_I'm fine, although 'Tuni's driving me nuts._

_Aunt Edith looks pretty bad, although the doctor says she is going to recover. _

_Yes, I have done my potions revision, Kate. _

_I have to go, it smells like 'Tuni has burnt something._

_Lily_

            I was sat in our hotel room, sucking on the end of my quill and watching Abby do her hair. I read over the letter, decided it was good enough, and tied it to Morgana's leg with a sigh of relief. I hadn't really wanted to write home after what had happened. I wanted to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head and stay there for a week. James had told me not to worry about it, but I knew he was just being nice.

            "Come on," Abby said. "You'd better start getting ready."

            Looking grumpy, I sat down on my bed, and began pulling T-shirts out of my bag. "I didn't bring anything for a club," I said sulkily. "I didn't know they'd want to take us out. I bet it's to gloat."

            Abby ignored me. She went to the fireplace, threw in a handful of blue powder and shouted a room number. "Mel, we need some help," she said with her head in the flames.

            "What're you doing?" I demanded as she withdrew her head.

            "You're going to get a makeover," Abby said with a grin. 

            "What!" I said. "I don't need a makeover!"

            Abby, once again, ignored me. Five minutes later there was a knock on the door. Abby opened it, and there was Mel with her arms full of makeup and clothes.

            "Let's get to work," she said to Abby, ignoring my protests.

            Half an hour later I didn't even recognise myself when I looked in the mirror. I was wearing makeup for the first time in my life. I'd never bothered before, even when Cissa had offered to lend me hers. Mel had waved my hair with her wand, and I wore it loose, flowing down my back. Abby had lent me a tight skirt and a shiny black top which looked quite normal from the front, but which was held together with minuscule strips of material at the back. I was showing a lot of skin. What if the straps tore and the top fell straight off me?

            We went down to reception to meet the others, me walking really carefully in the high-heeled, strappy sandals Mel had lent me. We spotted them out in the street waiting for us and went to join them. I felt strangely shy as I pushed my way through the revolving doors. What would James think of my new look?

            I don't want to sound big-headed but I think it would be fair to say that his eyes almost fell out of his head when he saw me. The other girls were startled too, but then they started cheering.

            "Does she look good or what?" Mel asked proudly. "Yeah, she looks good!"

            James stared at me for a few seconds more, then dragged his gaze away. "Come on, let's go," he said.

            I smiled to myself. Maybe, just maybe, there was something between us. Yeah, yeah, I knew that nothing could ever come of it. But here I was in a strange city miles from home, and looking good. I felt like a different person, and I was going to make the most of it. 

            We piled into three or four Muggle taxis, and headed off for the club. When we got there, I celebrated the new me by ordering a glass of wine, instead of my usual Butterbeer. By the time I was on my second glass, I was feeling – not pissed exactly, but pretty relaxed. Abby was sitting chatting to me and some of the other players. She'd been on the dance-floor for some of the time, along with the rest of our team and the Hungarian players, but I hadn't joined them. I was a bit nervous about breaking an ankle in Mel's heels. We were laughing and joking around, but all the time I was conscious of James sitting at the neighbouring table. He was talking to the Hungarian coach, but every now and then he'd glance over at us.

            "Lily," Abby bawled in my ear over the music, "I'm going to ask James to dance."

            I watched as she made her way over. The Hungarian coach had gone to the bar, leaving James on his own. Abby sat down next to him, and started flirting wildly. I couldn't hear her, but I could tell. And I felt jealous. I decided to join them, so I went over and sat down on James's other side. I didn't see why Abby should have everything her own way.

            "Come on, dance with me," Abby was saying, trying to drag James to his feet. He shook his head firmly. "Oh, honestly, James – you're such a wuss!"

            "I'm sorry I held back with my shot, coach. We could have at least drawn," I said, looking at him over the top of my glass. Maybe it was about time I started to learn to flirt too.

            "It's OK," James said with a grin. "It comes naturally – England haven't beaten Hungary since 1895. You're part of the tradition now!"

            "Enough about Quidditch," Abby grabbed his hand. "Come on, you're dancing with me."

            "No," James repeated.

            "Come on, I'm not taking no for an answer!"

            James finally shrugged and gave in. I watched them move on to the dance floor, wishing I had some of Abby's confidence. I _thought_ James fancied me. But I didn't have the  nerve to do anything about it.

            Carrying my glass of wine, I made my way across the crowded dance floor towards some of our players. As I was standing chatting to them, someone came up behind me.

            "Come on, you're dancing with us," James said in my ear. 

            I started to shake my head, but he ignored me, took my hand and led me over to Abby. For a few moments we danced together with James holding both our hands. Abby looked a bit put out, but she didn't say anything.

            Suddenly though, I began to feel dizzy. The club started to spin. I put my hand to my head, and blinked a few times to try to clear my vision, but now my stomach was churning and I felt sick. Quickly I turned and made my way unsteadily towards the back doors of the club, which were open on to the street. I needed some fresh air. 

            "Oh!" I stumbled as I got outside, and someone grabbed my arm.

            "Careful." It was James. I hadn't realised that he'd followed me. "Are you all right?"

            "Oh, God," I muttered, feeling really sick now. "I only had a couple of glasses of wine." I groaned. "Oh, my head. It's too smoky in there."

            James put his arm round me and helped me over to a nearby wall. I leaned against him, partly because my legs felt like jelly, and partly because I enjoyed being near him. We stood there in silence for a moment, then I looked up at him.

            "That was so brilliant, the way you came to see Kate." My heart thudded loudly as he smiled at me and stroked my hair. "You were brave enough to face my cousin. Your dad can't be as mad as _her_!"

            "Your cousin was a barrel of laughs compared to my dad," James replied softly. "I don't need to be close to my family, Lily. You don't have to feel sorry for me."

            I smiled back at him. I knew what I wanted to do next. I wanted to kiss him, and nothing was going to stop me…

            I leaned forwards, raising my face to him. James hesitated for a second, then he leaned towards me too.

            "You bitch!"

            I gasped and spun round – just in time to see the hurt look on Abby's face as she disappeared back into the club.

            It was a disaster. But that wasn't the end of it. Abby refused to talk to me and moved out to spend our last night in Mel's room. She wouldn't talk to me the next day on the journey home either, and she made sure she sat by someone else on the bus to the Portkey station.

            I tried to apologise to her. I blamed my behaviour on the glasses of //// that I'd drunk, saying that I'd never have done anything like that if I hadn't been pissed. But deep down, I kept asking myself – _would_ I have tried to kiss James even if I was stone-cold sober? I didn't know. And Abby seemed to guess that I wasn't being straight with her, which was why she was so furious with me.

            I hadn't spoken to James either. We'd avoided each other , both of us hanging out with other girls in the team to make sure we weren't left alone together. I wondered if he regretted what had nearly happened between us. I couldn't tell.

            The awkwardness between Abby, James and I affected the whole team, and we sat on the Knight Bus home in gloomy silence. I'd made sure I was sitting near Abby, even though she didn't look at me once during the journey, or speak to me. I wanted to try and corner her when the bus stopped, and see if I could talk to her. We had to get this sorted out. One, because we were good mates and I didn't want to lose her friendship. And two, because we couldn't play together properly and keep up our partnership on the pitch if we were at each other's throats.

            But when the minibus stopped, Abby was first out of her seat. She grabbed her bag, and ran for it. I jumped up and pushed my way to the front of the bus.

            "Abby!"

            It was too late. She'd gone. I stared after her, wondering how I was ever going to get her to listen to me. Still, I'd see her at the next training session.

            Mel was getting off the bus behind me. "All right, Lily?"

            I didn't answer.

            "Who are they?" Mel asked curiously, pointing across the street.

            I'd already seen them myself. Kate, Mike and Cissa were standing across the street, waiting for me. Oh hell.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

            Kate and Mike didn't shout. They didn't yell and they didn't have a go at me. We walked quietly back up to school, and Kate started crying. I felt like a traitor for betraying their trust in me. 

            We arrived at Hogwarts, and Kate and Mike went straight upstairs without speaking. I felt sick, and my insides were knotted up with tension. This was worse than being yelled at.

            "How did they find out?" I asked Cissa in a low voice. 

            "Mike saw a picture of your team in the paper," she replied listlessly. "And there was an article about your Hungary trip. He guessed." She looked washed-out, and she had dark circles under her eyes. She wasn't even wearing any make-up, which was like going out without any clothes on for my cousin. I felt really sorry for her. This business with Lucius was still getting to her, and now I'd dragged her into even more trouble.

            "What happened?"

            "They apparated to Surrey, and talked to Edith, who's in perfect health," Cissa replied, then she turned away and trudged upstairs.

            I watched her go. I knew that this was finally _it_. I had to make up my mind about what I was going to do. If I carried  on the way I was, I was going to keep angering my family. They'd looked livid when they'd picked me up after the trip, as if they couldn't believe what I'd done and didn't know how to handle it. If I kept on playing, we were going to fall out big-time. Was that what I really wanted?

            And then there was James…

            I went upstairs. I could still hear the murmur of Kate and Mike's voices from behind closed doors. I could guess what they were saying. 

            "Cissa?" I went into the dorm and sat next to her on her bed. She looked miserable, and didn't seem too pleased to see me. But I had something to ask her.

            "Ciss, how do you know Luc is the one?" I asked tentatively.

            My cousin's face softened. "I just know," she said quietly. "When you're in love you'd do anything to be with that person."

            I was silent for a moment, wondering if that was how I felt about James.

            "Do you think Kate would disown me if I ever brought home a Gryffindor?" I blurted out.

            Cissa was on to me like a shot. "Who're you talking about?"

            "No-one." I tried to sound innocent. "I'm just saying."

            "It's that coach bloke, isn't it?" Cissa looked scandalised. "I _knew_ something was going on when he turned up here!"

            So she _had noticed._

            "Nothing's happened," I said quickly.

            Cissa gave me a warning look. "Well, you make sure it doesn't, all right?"

            I bit my lip. If Cissa didn't think it could work, what chance did I have?

            "Look, Lily, you can marry anyone you want," my cousin went on in a more reasonable voice. "It's fine at first when you're in love and all that." She shrugged her shoulders. "But Kate'll flip, you know she will – she'd probably throw you out. Your family and friends will hate him. His family and friends will hate you. And when _He_ found out…" she gulped "…well, just remember you've got Morgan blood. You're a Slytherin, Muggle-born or no. _He_ won't be pleased if one of his own marries a Muggle-loving Gryffindork."

            I sighed. I knew there was a lot of truth in what she said, however much I didn't want to hear it. 

            "Why go to so much grief when there are so many more suitable boys you could marry? You know Stevens, that Ravenclaw prefect, he's had a crush on you all year." She glanced sideways at me. "What about Severus? He's been mad on you for ages."

            I nodded. She hadn't given me the advice I'd wanted to hear. But then, I hadn't expected her to. Nobody understood. I couldn't even talk to my favourite poster of Pendragon any more. I had just one question spinning round and round in my mind. _What was I going to do? Whatever I decided, someone was going to get hurt…_

            I walked up to the clubhouse, and peered nervously through the open door. I was looking for James, and I didn't have much time. Kate had let me out of the common-room reluctantly when I told her I needed to go to the library. But she'd expect me back in an hour or two, and I had somewhere else I needed to go after I'd seen James.

            James was in the clubhouse, talking to two older men, one of whom I recognised as the chairman of the club. I thought the other guy might be the secretary. I watched as they shook hands with James and went off through the other door. I moved away, loosened my ponytail and let my hair fall around my shoulders. I wanted to look good for him, although I was wearing my school robes. Don't tell me. Stupid, I know.

            James had spotted me, and he walked over, his expression unreadable. I couldn't tell if he was embarrassed, glad to see me or wished I was ten thousand miles away.

            "Hi," I said, trying to avoid his eyes.

            "Hi."

            There was an awkward silence.

            "Was that the club chairman?" I asked. Anything to put off what I was about to tell him.

            "Yeah." James looked down at his feet. "They've told me they're considering me for assistant coach to the men's side next year."

            "That's great." I honestly did feel pleased for him. He'd worked hard for this chance. "Congratulations."

            "I probably won't get it," Joe said quietly. "It's better not to count on anything."

            Another silence.

            "Well, you deserve it," I said. I took a deep breath and groped for the right words. "Look, I'm sorry about – "

            "I've already forgotten it," James jumped in.

            "Yeah, good." I cleared my throat. "Me too."

            "Your folks didn't look too pleased yesterday," James said. Understatement of the millennium, I thought. "I suppose you've come to tell me you're off the team."

            I hung my head. That was exactly why I was there. The semi-final was coming up on Sunday, and I was giving James plenty of notice so that he could sort out a replacement. It had all seemed so simple earlier that morning, but now I was torn in two again.

            "It's not fair," I mumbled. "I feel like I'm either going to let the team down or really piss my family off. I don't want to upset _anyone_."

            James shook his head. "Why are they so frightened to let you play?" he asked, looking genuinely puzzled.

            "It's not useful. They think I'm throwing away my talents." I smiled bitterly. "_What's the use of being Head Girl if you're going to waste your life playing silly games." I said, in imitation of Kate._

            James looked frustrated. I didn't blame him; I felt the same way myself. "Whose life are you living, Lily? If you try pleasing them forever, you're going to end up blaming them."

            "What, like you?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. 

            James looked away from me.

            "Sorry – " I began.

            "No, you're right," James interrupted me. "I stopped talking to my dad because we had nothing to talk about. After my injury, I spent a year trying to forget about the game, but I couldn't."

            "But I can't just can't stop talking to them like you," I muttered. My family irritated the hell out of me, and I hated their Dark sympathies, but they were still my family. I couldn't just do what _I _wanted and leave them behind.

            "I don't talk to my dad because I know what he'd say," James said abruptly. "He'd laugh himself stupid if he found out I was coaching girls."

            "How do you _know that?" I argued. "How do you know that he wouldn't be proud that you just didn't give up?"_

            James didn't look very convinced. Then he looked me straight in the eye. "Like you're giving up?" 

            His words stung, but I just shook my head dully. He didn't understand.

            "Oh, hello." Chloe beamed at me, opening the portrait hole wider. "It's Lillian, isn't it?"

            "Liliana," I corrected her. I was taking a chance in coming to see Abby, but I had to make her listen to me. Even if I was off the team, I didn't want her to hate me. 

            "Oh, yes, Liliana," Chloe repeated. "I'm sorry. Come in, babe." I stepped into the Gryffindor common room. "Abby is up in the dorm. I'll just take you up there."

            I followed Chloe up the stairs. Even though it was early in the morning, she was all tarted up in a floral skirt, low-cut T-shirt, high heels and loads of make-up. She went ahead of me, trailing perfume, and opened the dormitory door.

            "Abs, darling – oh, are you still not up?" She sounded concerned. "Guess who's come to see you?"

            I followed Chloe into the room just in time to see Abby pull herself up from her pillows. She gave me an icy glare and didn't say a word. 

            "It's your Slytherin friend from Quidditch," Chloe went on, bustling across the room to open the curtains. "Oh, Abby's been ever so down since you lost in Hungary. Maybe you can cheer her up, though."

            At the moment it looked like the only thing that would cheer Abby up was murdering me, so I didn't reply.

            Chloe came over to stand next to me. "Do you want a Butterbeer, Lily? I've got some left from the last Hogsmeade trip."

            "No, it's alright, Chloe," Abby snapped. "Lily won't be staying long."

            "Oh." Chloe looked uncertainly from Abby to me. I think she'd finally sussed that there was something major going on. "Well, just give me a shout if you change your minds," she said, going over to the door as slowly as she could. I got the feeling she was dying to know what was happening, but couldn't quite bring herself to ask.

            I stood there uncomfortably until I heard Chloe going down the stairs. She'd looked so curious, I wouldn't have put it past her to stand outside the door, trying to get an earful. "Look, Abby," I began. That was when I noticed the photo of James and Abby lying crumpled on top of the wastebasket. "I feel really bad about what happened."

            "Well, you should," Abby retorted bitterly. 

            "I'm sorry." I tried again. "I don't want you to be in a strop with me."

            "I am NOT in a strop!" Abby hissed.

            "It was a mistake," I gabbled. "I didn't know what I was doing."

            Abby looked so hurt I felt sick. "I can't _believe_ you kissed him!" she burst out.

            I was gobsmacked. "I didn't – "

            "Yeah, right," Abby said scornfully. "I know what I saw. You _knew_ he was off-limits."

            I didn't know what to say. I hadn't realised she thought I'd _actually_ kissed James. But Merlin, what did it matter? There was an evil little voice at the back of my mind, sticking its nose in again. I _would've kissed him if Abby hadn't turned up…_

            "Don't pretend to be so innocent!" Abby flared. "You knew exactly how I felt about him!"

            "But you told me you didn't like him," I defended myself. "And now you're acting like you're in love with him!"

            Abby didn't answer. She rolled over in bed, staring at the wall so that I couldn't see her face. I felt helpless.

            "So that's it?" I asked. My voice was shaking, and I didn't even try to hide it.

            "That's it." Abby pulled the blankets over her head and lay very still.

            Biting my lip, I ran out of the dorm and down the stairs. Chloe was standing at the bottom, obviously having tried to listen to our conversation. I didn't want her to see how upset I was, so I slipped past her and made for the portrait hole.

            I pulled it open. One of Abby's friends, Aaron, was outside, just about to give the password to the portrait, and he looked surprised to see me. I wondered if Abby had told him what had happened. I knew she was close to Aaron because he always stood up for her against the girls when they were having a go about Abby playing Quidditch.

            "Bye," I mumbled, glancing around at Chloe.

            She didn't answer me. She looked pretty upset herself, for some reason. Merlin knows why. But she couldn't be half as upset as I was. My whole life was falling to bits around me, and I didn't have a clue what to do about it. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

            "Sev, do you fancy me?" I asked abruptly.

            Sev looked pretty taken aback. We were sitting by the lake, watching the Quidditch team practice. Up until a few seconds, we'd been talking about what a prat our Potions professor, Morrell, was. My sudden change of subject had gobsmacked him completely. He stared at me as if I'd suddenly grown two heads or something. 

            "_Do you fancy me, Sev?" I repeated impatiently. I was trying to think of something I could do to get James out of my head. Going out with someone else was my best idea so far._

            "I like you, yeah," Sev said cautiously, but he didn't sound over-enthusiastic. But then again, neither was I.

            "Well, good," I said briskly. "Maybe we can go out together then, yeah?"

            Sev laughed nervously. He was hardly jumping at the chance I was offering him, which certainly wasn't doing a whole lot for my ego. "Lily, what's going on?"

            "I'm sorry, Sev," I mumbled. "I just think I need a Slytherin boyfriend."

            "What _is going on, Lily?" Sev asked again, looking even more confused. "You're acting all weird."_

            "Sorry." I hesitated, wondering how much to tell him. "You know my coach?"

            Sev nodded.

            "Well, I – I nearly kissed him in Hungary," I confessed, my face burning with embarrassment.

            Sev burst out laughing. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "So _that's_ why you need a Slytherin boyfriend?"

            "Well, Abby likes him too, and now she hates me," I finished off gloomily.

            "Look, Lily, you can't plan who you fall for," Sev pointed out. "It just happens." For some reason, he was looking rather gloomy, too. "Look at Barchester fly!"

            I grinned, welcoming the change of subject. "Barchester's an awesome Seeker."

            "I really like Barchester too," Sev agreed.

            "Of course you do," I said. "He's the best Seeker we've had for decades."

            Sev was staring at me in a very strange way. "No, Lily," he said gently. "I _really like Barchester."_

            For a second or two I didn't understand what he meant. Then, finally, I sussed exactly what he was sating, and my eyes opened wide. 

            "What? You mean…?" I couldn't quite get the words out.

            Sev nodded.

            "But you're a pureblood!" I gasped. Which was probably the least helpful thing I could have come up with.

            "I haven't told anyone yet," Sev said quickly. "Only you."

            I sat there in shock. Sev was _gay?_ We'd been mates for years, and I'd never noticed a thing. Then I couldn't help smiling as something suddenly struck me. "God, what's your mum going to say?"

            Sev shrugged, and I finally began to take in what all this meant for him. Gays weren't part of Slytherin culture. Everyone pretended they just didn't exist. The most important thing a Slytherin had to do was to ensure the continuation of pureblood lineages by reproducing. Being gay was probably the single worst thing you could be as a pureblood. I began to comprehend what a twisted life most Slytherins led. Torturing others, killing, was acceptable, commendable even. But being gay was a crime against your ancestors and against the name of Slytherin. What the hell was Sev going to do? At some point in his life, he was going to have to make some difficult choices. I stared at him as if I was seeing him properly for the very first time, knowing that he was going to have the same problems I was having with _my_ family if he wanted to live his own life. Choosing a different lifestyle to the one everyone expected you to have meant big trouble. Suddenly, I didn't feel quite so alone.

            "My cousin thinks you're mad about me," I teased him. 

            "I am," Sev replied. "I just don't want to marry you."

            He got up and we walked down the lawns towards the castle, passing Zott and the others playing Quidditch.

            I grinned. "I wonder what those tossers would say if they knew."

            Sev looked alarmed. "Lily, you're not going to tell anyone?"

            "Of course not," I said quickly. "It's Ok, Sev. I mean, it's OK with me…"

            "Well, you fancying your Gryffindor coach is OK with _me_," Sev said solemnly. "Besides, he's kind of fit!"

            We both burst out laughing. Maybe I _could_ cope. After all, I wasn't the only person in the world who had problems…

            I sneezed really convincingly into my hanky and wiped my nose. Kate looked anxiously at me.

            "You're looking really pale and peaky, Liliana. Go to the  hospital wing," she ordered me. "We'll see you later."

             I nodded, pulling a robe over my pyjamas. 

            "Listen, you've got to be back by three o'clock," Cissa whispered in my ear. "I won't be able to keep Kate busy all day."

            I nodded. "I owe you big-time, Ciss."

            It was Sunday, the day of the semi-final, and I'd finally made up my mind that I was going to play. I didn't want to upset Kate and Mike, but how could I possibly keep away? I'd worked my butt off to help the team get through to the semis – I couldn't miss out now. I didn't know what was going to happen in the future. I didn't know if I'd be playing again after today. But I was determined that I wasn't going to miss what might be my last chance to turn out for the Horntails.

            I shuffled along the corridor until I was out of sight of the Slytherin common room, then grabbed my broom and kit from behind the tapestry, did a quick spell that changed my pyjamas to my sports robe, then ran as fast as I could for the secret passage on the third floor. I was cutting it pretty fine, I thought, as I glanced at my watch as I legged it down the corridor. I was going to have to run all the way. I tried not to look at the portrait of Salazar Slytherin I passed. Why did I always have to feel guilty whenever I stood up for myself and made a decision I thought was right, I asked myself crossly. 

            I hadn't told James or any of the Horntails that I was coming. As I legged it down the street towards the pitch, an unpleasant thought struck me. Maybe James would be annoyed with me for messing the team around. After all, he needed players he could rely on. I'd told him at the clubhouse that I was off the team – well, that I almost certainly wouldn't be turning up for the semi-final. Maybe he'd get tired of me changing my mind all the time.

            I needn't have worried. By the time I arrived, both teams were already out on the pitch warming up. James spotted me, and I saw his face light up. But all he said was, "So you made it, Evans. Get yourself out on to the pitch right away."

            I jogged out towards the centre circle, broom in hand, feeling all fired up as if I could run a marathon. There was a buzz from the crowd, which was much bigger than  we were normally used to. It made the whole occasion feel much more special. I glanced round the seats, trying to spot Sev, who was coming to give us some support. He was sitting about halfway up the stand, and I was surprised to see that Zott, Matthews and some of the other lads were with him. They'd probably come to eye-up the players, I thought with a grin. I noticed Abby's friend Aaron too, but no Chloe, or any of the other girls form her dorm.

            "Good to see you, Lily," Mel called as I joined the rest of the team. I grinned at her, and looked around for Abby. She was doing loops on the other side of the pitch, pretending she hadn't noticed me and therefore couldn't possibly be ignoring me. As I warmed up I kept glancing over at her nervously. What was going to happen to our goal-scoring partnership if she kept sulking once the match started? The whole team would suffer. I didn't think Abby would be that petty, but I couldn't be sure. She _was_ mad as hell with me. 

            "Come on, the Horntails!" roared the crowd, as the ref released the balls and began the match. Well, maybe _roared_ is exaggerating a bit. There weren't enough of them for that. But at least they were cheering us on.

            The first half hour or so was a disaster. Our team was jittery and tense, and we couldn't seem to string more than two passes together. It could just have been nerves because we were playing in the semi-final, but I couldn't help thinking that maybe it was because the others were affected by the atmosphere between Abby and me. I was trying to avoid passing to her because I didn't know how she was going to react, and I think she was doing the same. I had another problem too. One of the Chasers on the opposing team, a girl called Cassie Hindry, was a lot bigger than me, and had taken to following me around the pitch and fouling me whenever possible. I'd got away from her a few times because I was faster, but she'd retaliated by marking me extra-close when she caught up with me. The ref hadn't noticed all the robe-tugging, kicking and nudges, and it was starting to get on my nerves.

            We were being thrashed. After forty-five minutes, the score was 80-20 to them. Our defending was abominable – there were gaps Hagrid could have flown through (if a broom was able to support him, that is.) Steely-eyed, James called for a time-out. 

            "I don't expect to see gaps at the back that you could fly a Hippogriff through," he snapped. "And as for you two," his gaze moved to me, then turned to Abby, who'd carefully chosen to stand as far away from me as possible. "Evans, Figg, I want you to start playing as if you're on the same team." His eyes raked over both of us. "You _are on the same team, aren't you?"_

            We both nodded. As we took to the air again, I stole a glance at Abby. Neither of us had played half as well as we could have done. Although we were good individual players, things really started to happen when our partnership was working. It was up to us to turn this game around.

            The game became fast and furious. The opposing team was pushing forward, trying to get enough goals to annihilate us completely without depending on their hopeless Seeker. But this meant that they kept leaving gaps at the back, and several times Rosmerta, Abby and I managed to make successful runs into the scoring area.

            We were catching up. 100-70. And now, Abby and I were getting into the swing of it. I'd left Cassie Hindry behind yet again, and was thundering down the pitch towards their goalposts. I could see Abby in the scoring area, watching me. I swivelled smoothly to face her, and crossed it straight to her. 

            Abby swooped upwards, then dive-bombed downwards, distracting the Keeper and shooting the Quaffle through the nearest hoop in one fluid movement. It was a spectacular goal, and all the other Horntails rushed over to Abby and hugged her in glee. Abby didn't even look at me so I stayed well away from the celebrations, and applauded politely. I felt a bit left out, but I reckoned that if I'd gone over and put my arm around Abby, she'd have punched me on the nose. I was pretty sure that no one had over put one of their own players out of commission in, but there was always a first time. 

            Now that Abby had scored spectacularly, _I_ wanted a magnificent goal too. It was getting more difficult to score now as Hindry was becoming frustrated and trying every trick in the book to stop me. She was hassling me again as I sped forward. Dodging a Bludger while I kept an eye on Abby swooping down the wing with the Quaffle. She was too far away to take a shot herself, but I was perfectly positioned, if I could just get away from my opponent. 

            The defenders were expecting a straight shot across to me, but Abby outfoxed them. Instead, she chucked it to a spot several feet farther forward. I didn't have time to catch it and make a proper shot of it, because Hindry was too close to me. So, praying this would work, I swivelled on the spot, whacking the Quaffle hard with my broomtail and sending it careening towards the goalpost. The Keeper had no chance, and the crowd went mad as the Quaffle flew through the hoop.

            "YES!" I raced down the pitch, holding on with just my knees, with my arms outstretched and wheeling like a Muggle airplane. The other girls sped after me, whooping and cheering, and we had a massive team hug. Except Abby, who stayed over on the other side of the pitch, applauding politely. Just as I'd done when she'd scored.

            I was really flying now, and nothing and nobody could stop me. Ten minutes later, I'd scored twice more, and was in the process of scoring a third time, soaring forward down the middle of the pitch with the goal in my sights again.

            Suddenly my stomach lurched as I was yanked roughly backwards. Someone had grabbed hold of my sports robe, and they weren't letting go. My broom was straining underneath me, trying to move forwards but being pulled back. I fought to keep my balance, petrified that I was going to fall off my broom onto the grass fifty feet below. "What the hell are you playing at?" I yelled at Cassie Hindry, as the ref came running over. 

            Hindry glared at me. "What's the matter, Mudblood?" she sneered.

            I saw all shades of red. I spun, freeing my robes, then bent low over my broom and shot towards her, boiling with rage. I gave her a hard shove with both hands that sent her careening backwards. Her team screeched with rage and began yelling at the ref to sort it out. 

            She did her best, but by now we were both too livid to calm down easily. We circled one another warily, waiting for an opening. I swooped underneath her, pulling at her broomtail, and sending her spinning. Angrier than ever, Hindry grabbed a Beater's club from one of her team-mates who was watching the fight enthralled, and lobbed it straight at my head. I dodged it, but while I was concentrating on that, I felt Hindry jostle me from behind, and, unprepared for the blow, my fingers slipped from my broom handle, and I fell, speeding towards the ever closer ground. 

            I heard someone yell a hurried cushioning charm, and closed my eyes for the impact. I landed, then barely had time to register any pain before I gratefully blacked out.

            I had just come around when the match finished. The rest of the Horntails rushed into the dressing room singing _We Are the Champions_, so I knew we had won. I was mightily relieved. If they'd lost through being one girl down, I'd have felt horribly guilty.

            I got some smiles and sympathetic looks, and Becca ruffled my hair, but I couldn't say anything. Then I stiffened as James walked in. 

            "Well done," he yelled over all the excited chatter. "You were excellent!" Then he spotted me sitting forlornly on the bench, and his face changed. He strode over to me. "What the hell's wrong with you, Evans?" he shouted. I jumped, and everyone else stopped talking to listen. "I don't want to see anything like that from you again. You're lucky you got off as easily as you did."

            He turned away, dismissing me, and I felt tears pricking at my eyelids. Where did he get off, shouting at me like that? "Right, we've got the Rochester Raptors in the final," James went on. "Give yourself three cheers – hip hip…"

            I didn't join in the cheering. I was shaking with anger, as well as from the effort of trying not to cry. When James walked out of the room, I ran straight after him.

            "Why did you yell at me like that?" I demanded aggressively, as I caught up with him. "You know that girl was out of order!"

            "Lily," James said in a much more reasonable voice, "you could have lost us the tournament. Merlin, you could have _died!_"

            "But it wasn't my fault," I said, my voice quavering. "You didn't have to shout at me."

            "I'm your coach, Lily," James pointed out. "I have to treat you the same as everyone else. Look, I saw her, fouling you all the time. You just overreacted, that's all."

            This time I started to cry. I couldn't help it. "That's _not_ all," I sobbed. "She called me a Mudblood. But I guess you wouldn't understand what that feels like, would you?"

            Now that I'd started crying, I didn't seem to be able to stop. James pulled me gently into his arms, and I sobbed against his shoulder. After a moment or two, my arms crept around his waist, and I held him tightly.

            "Liliana!"

            I nearly jumped out of my skin. Oh, Salazar's bones, it was Mike.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

            We made our way back to Hogwarts in complete silence. A tense, embarrassed silence that you could have cut with a knife. Mike didn't say a word, but I could see his clenched fists, knuckles white.

            I walked beside him, going hot and cold all over as I thought about what had happened. Mike had caught me wrapped in the arms of my Gryffindor coach when I was supposed to be dying of flu in the hospital wing. I was so embarrassed. I didn't even have the words to describe how I felt. If I could have dug a big hole and buried myself in it, I would have. 

            I didn't understand how Mike had found out where I was. Why hadn't he stayed in the library like he was supposed to? Had Cissa given the game away? I'd have to get it all out of her when we got home. Still, how Mike had found out was the least of my worries. The point was he _had_.

            Feeling totally depressed and ashamed, I wondered if Mike would ever speak to me again. We'd always had a pretty good relationship, although Kate said he spoiled me. And talking of Kate, was Mike going to tell her? I groaned at the thought of all the grief I was going to get. I'd probably be grounded until I turned thirty at this rate. 

            We arrived at Hogwarts, and mike said nothing to me as we walked over to the front door. I was completely unnerved, and didn't know if I should say something first. But what _could I say? "By the way, I lied to you again so I could play Quidditch, and I'm also in love with my coach, who you saw me hugging"? I think mike knew most of that, without me having to spell it out. _

            As we went inside, I heard the murmur of voices from the common room. I was shocked to see that it had been cleared of students, and that Lucius and his revolting parent were there, talking to Kate. Cissa was sitting halfway up the dormitory stairs wearing one of her best robes and made-up to within an inch of her life. She grinned and beckoned to me as we went in.

            "Oh, here he is," Kate beamed, as she spotted Mike. I braced myself for a million questions about where I'd been when I was supposed to be sick, but Kate barely noticed me. "Lucius's parents have come to speak to us about the wedding."

            I hurried up the stairs towards Cissa. "What's happening?"

            "Luc's mum and dad have come to eat dirt," Cissa whispered, smiling all over her face. "Stupid cow, I don't know who she thinks she is in those dress robes."

            "No mother can stand by and see her son go through this," Luc's mother said melodramatically. She seemed to have forgotten that it was _their_ fault that the wedding was called off in the first place. "Lucius has been devastated."

            "Well, our Narcissa, she didn't come out of her room for days," Kate chimed in.

            "Lucius also," his mum shot back. "For days he has eaten nothing."

            "Our children's happiness should come first," Luc's dad added.

            It was beginning to look as if the wedding was definitely back on, then. Cissa beamed happily at me, and I forced a smile. I was glad something was going right for somebody.

            Lucius's parents were all sweetness and light as they said goodbye – a bit different from the last time they'd come to talk to us. Cissa, Kate and Mike walked to the Entrance Hall to see them off, while I moped listlessly round the common room. I wished Mike would tell Kate and get it over with. I wanted to know what my punishment was going to be. 

            A sudden thought struck me. I wondered how long Mike had been at the ground. Maybe he'd actually seen me play? Score a few goals? Maybe he'd been impressed by my skills – or just disgusted at my fouls… The brief excitement that had flared up inside me died away. As far as my family were concerned, I was going to  join the Ministry, and that was that. My NEWTs were coming up in a few weeks, and I was beginning to wish that I'd fail. The Ministry wouldn't accept me without top grades.

            Cissa whirled back into the room, looking like she'd just won the lottery.

            "I'm getting married!" she announced, hugging Kate and then me. I glanced over at Mike, trying to catch his eye. I was sort of hoping that he might have softened a bit now we had some good news. But he still wouldn't meet my gaze.

            "We'll give them a wedding party they won't forget their whole lives! Kate announced firmly. "We must find what date the Hall of Commitments is free again.

            Mike went over to the fire. 

            "Lily, get the old wedding invitations," Kate went on. "They're in my office. We can use a charm to change the date."

            I went to get the box of invitations. When I came back, Mike was talking into the fire. Asking about possible dates for the wedding.

            "We'll have to talk to the house elves about the wedding feast. We'll show them we're not poor!" Kate was boasting.

            Dad brought his head out of the fireplace, and looked at Kate and Cissa. "Will Sunday the 25th be OK?" he asked.

            "The 25th?" I repeated, my insides flipping over. The 25th was the day of the final against the Rochester Raptors. 

            "No, that's too soon," Kate hissed, much to my relief. "We need more time."

            Mike shook his head. "The 25th is the only available date," he said. "After that, there's nothing for five months."

            "Oh, _please, don't make me wait that long," Cissa wailed anxiously. _

            "But, Mike – " I began. I could see my chances of playing in the final going even farther down the drain than they already were.

            "Quiet!" Mike said sternly. "Your cousin needs you."

            I swallowed hard. Kate and Cissa were too busy looking at the invitations and discussing the wedding food to notice that I was trying desperately to stop myself from crying. I'd promised myself that the final would be my very last game. Even if I had to lie and cheat my way out of Hogwarts on the 25th, I'd decided I was going to do it. After all, it was only one day out of the rest of my life, and from then on I was going to do what my family wanted. But now it had all been taken out of my hands. There was no way I could miss my cousin's wedding.

            It was the week before the wedding, and Mike was redecorating the common room for the reception. I helped, levitating the fairy lights he conjured into position. We still weren't speaking, although I was relieved that Mike didn't seem to have said anything to Kate, and she and Cissa were too hassled by all the wedding preparations to notice that anything was wrong.

            Levitating the fairies, I was daydreaming about the final I wouldn't be playing in, when I suddenly got a huge shock. Abby was walking across the room towards me, an embarrassed look on her face.

            "Lily," she said. 

            I stared at her. "Hi," I gulped. 

            "I need to talk to you," Abby muttered, looking as if having to talk to me was worse than having her ears transfigured into pineapples. 

            I nodded, and looked over at Mike. He must have recognised Abby from the team, but he didn't say anything as I led her up to my dorm. Kate and Cissa were in her office, arguing about food for the reception, and they were making so much noise they didn't hear us going upstairs.

            I took Abby into my dorm, and closed the door. She glanced round at my Pendragon posters, then sat down at my desk. I looked at her curiously as I plonked myself down on my bed. I was dying to know why she was here when she'd barely said two words to me recently.

            There was silence for a moment.

            "We all missed you at training today," Abby said eventually. "Especially James." We both blushed. "He told me what happened with your… you know, cousin-in-law? Is that right?"

            I was more interested in what she'd said rather than what she called Mike. "He did?" It looked as though James and Abby had sorted things out between them, then. I wondered how that had come about.

            "Yeah, he's worried that he's got you into even more trouble," Abby went on, sounding concerned herself, which was the last thing I expected. 

            "I'm really in the shit," I burst out. "Mike hasn't talked to me since. He'll never let me go back to James and the team."

            Abby looked at me pleadingly. "But you _can't_ miss the final, Lily! James told me there's going to be scouts from Europe there. They've already seen us play in Hungary, but I didn't know until James told me this morning."

            So _that was why Abby had forgiven James. She was concentrating on being spotted by a scout and what it might mean for her Quidditch career._

            "I can't play," I said dully. Abby was talking about her own future here, not mine. Mine was already decided. "It's the same day as my cousin's wedding."

            For once, Abby didn't have a quick answer. "Well, can't you get away for a _bit?" she asked at last._

            I shook my head. "You don't understand…" It was unthinkable. Kate would mutilate me!

            "You're giving up Quidditch now," Abby said sharply. "What are you going to have to give up next?"

            "Oh don't rub it in!" I retorted, stung. She'd hurt me, and now I wanted to hurt her back. "You only came here cos you need me if that bloody scout shows up!"

            Abby jumped up, looking wounded, and I felt terrible. "Look, I came here because James was worried  about you," she snapped, pulling the door open. "I'll tell him he's wasting his bloody time, shall I?"

            She clattered off down the stairs before I could reply, and I heard the common room door slam shut behind her. I lay down on my bed, and buried my head in the pillow. I hadn't meant to hurt Abby, but the truth was – I was jealous. Everything was working out for her, and nothing was going right for me. My exam results were due in a few days, and if I got my EEs and Os I was off to the Ministry, to be stuck behind a desk someplace doing something 'useful'. My life was unfolding in front of me, and I had no say in the matter. None at all.

            "Hurry _up, Kate," I said impatiently. _

            I was standing there in my dressing-gown, while Kate was praying in front of the portrait of Salazar Slytherin, my NEWT results in the envelope in her hand. I hadn't had a chance to open it yet. Mike was waiting to find out my results too, and he was already late for work.

            Kate handed me the envelope, and I tore it open. Half of me was hoping that I'd failed, which would solve the problem of getting a job in the Ministry. But when I focused on the results, I saw numbly that I'd got what I needed. Os in Charms, DADA and Arithmancy, an EE in Transfiguration and an A in Herbology. 

            Silently I passed the letter to Mike. His face lit up when he saw it, and he looked proud of me for the first time in days. That didn't make me feel any better though.

            "Good." He gave the letter to Kate, who was beaming and thanking Salazar. "Now you'll have a successful job in the Ministry and make something of your life."

            I nodded and turned away. I saw Kate and Mike look at each other, as if they couldn't understand why I was so down. I couldn't tell them that it felt like I'd signed my own death warrant.

            I trailed upstairs to get dressed. After that, I started taking my Pendragon posters off my bedroom walls. Kate had reminded me that Wilhelmina and her granddaughter would be staying in here for the wedding reception, and she didn't want to look at pictures of some Quidditch bum. I took the posters down carefully, although I didn't know if I'd be putting them back up again. What was the point? I ought to start putting up posters of famous Ministry officials now…

            Later that day, the school, empty for the summer holidays, began to fill up with our relatives and friends, although most could be more accurately referred to as vague acquaintances, whose blood was pure enough for it to be acceptable to be seen with them. Inbred cretins! We all gathered in the grounds for the Limpiaza ceremony. Cissa was glowing and happy in new green dress robes, enjoying being the centre of attention as she sat in the middle of everyone. Pureblood brides have to go through a kind of cleansing ceremony before marriage. The women spread the Limpiaza potion on Cissa's face and arms, to get rid of any 'impurities'. It was also supposed to ensure that she didn't give birth to a Squib. I heard Sadie and Bubbly muttering that it would take more than that to make Cissa pure. They could talk!

            Anyway, we were all sitting there when Mike came outside with Wilhelmina, who'd just arrived. I hadn't seen her for years because she lived in Nairobi, and I'd forgotten how incredibly old she was. I think she'd forgotten too, because she was wearing bright red lipstick and loads of gold jewellery and dressed like she was about thirty-five instead of a hundred and thirty-five.

            Her grandchildren were with her, carrying their cases. The dreaded air-head granddaughter, and the even more dreaded macho grandson. I suppose he was OK looking. Monica, Bubbly and Sadie certainly thought so. They were checking him out big-time, and Bubbly's tongue was virtually down to her knees. I didn't really take a lot of notice of him – until I saw that he seemed to be watching _me. Whenever I looked around, he was staring, and once he even __winked. I glared at him, and kept out of his way after that. I didn't want Kate or any of my matchmaking elderly relatives getting ideas. _

            That evening, all the women were outside, discussing their wardrobes, and putting the finishing touches to some of the dishes for the reception tomorrow. Traditionally, the bride has to cook the first meal of her married life – the feast for the reception – so no house elves were allowed. Cissa was a horrible cook, though, so most of our female relations had been roped into helping. The majority of the men (including Wilhelmina's grandson, thank Merlin) had gone inside to drink whisky, but Mike was toasting chestnuts on the outside cooker he'd conjured up (they were for garnishing the raspberry parfait, and supposedly were infinitely superior when cooked in the open air). I'd managed to escape so far. I was tossing a Quaffle around the lawn, dreaming of scoring endless goals in the finals tomorrow, even though I wouldn't be playing – when Kate pounced.

            "Liliana, do I have to die before you offer to help us?" she snapped. "Go and give your aunties a hand by sugar-frosting the violets."

            Gloomily I joined the end of the 'production line', tapping each flower with my wand and muttering "Glucagus." Meanwhile, the aunties chattered on, ignoring me. I thought I might scream with boredom if something didn't happen soon.

            It did, although it wasn't quite what I'd expected. We'd all moved inside, into the common room, and Wilhelmina was dancing around, carrying Cissa's Auunim candle above her head. Wizarding babies are given an Auunim candle at their Blessing ceremony (the wizard equivalent to a Christening), and it is burnt down only when a great change takes place in a witch's or wizard's life. It changes colour each time, representing the change in the wizard, and regenerates as if it were never lit. At a wizard's funeral, the Auunim candle, coloured black, is placed on top of the coffin and burnt down to the stub, before being buried with the wizard. Mike told me that historically, the bride's relatives used to sing and dance their way through the village with the Auunim the night before the wedding. Lucky we didn't have to dance round Hogsmeade with it – we'd probably have been arrested, or admitted to St Mungo's.

            Wilhelmina passed me the Auunim and everyone cheered and applauded. I began to spin round slowly in a circle, holding the candle above my head and trying to stop it setting my hair on fire.

            "She's next in line," I heard someone say gleefully.

            "Wilhelmina's grandson is a nice boy," someone else replied.

            Suddenly I felt dizzy and hot. An auntie took the candle, and I stumbled out of the room, avoiding Wilhelmina's grandson who was standing near the door. I needed some fresh air.

            I headed down the corridor and froze. Mike was by the doorway, watching James walk off down the hall. 

            "Mike!" I gulped, rushing over to him. "What did you say?"

            Mike looked at me sternly. "Don't play with your future, daughter," he warned me, and walked away. 

            I could have let it go, but I didn't. I glanced back at the party, before I turned and ran straight after James.

            "Wait!"

            James turned around, looking surprised but pleased.

            "I'm sorry about the final," I told him.

            "No, _I'm sorry, Lily," James said gently._

            "I got my results," I explained. "I'll be getting a Ministry job soon. So I won't have time for training and stuff." My voice sounded pathetically feeble, as if I was trying to convince myself.

            "That's a shame," James said bluntly. "I could've seen you playing for England some day. Abby still has a shot."

            "She told me about the scouts coming," I mumbled, wishing I didn't feel so jealous. "I'm sorry I'm letting her down." I don't know why I didn't just tattoo _I'm sorry on my forehead. It was all I seemed to be saying these days._

            "I asked that scout to come for you too," James went on, "He's interested in _both of you. That's what I was telling Mr Charbet."_

            "He's interested in _me?" I gasped. Suddenly a whole, tempting new world was opening up again – and it didn't involve the Ministry and becoming a paper-pusher. "Why are you doing this to me, James?" I looked up at him sadly. "Every time I talk myself out of it, you come around and make it sound so easy."_

            "I guess I just don't want to give up on you," James admitted quietly.

            We stood in silence. In the background we could hear loud singing coming from the Slytherin rooms, as if to remind me where I belonged.

            "So, are you promised to one of those blokes in there?" James asked, trying to sound casual.

            "No, don't be silly." I blushed bright red and stared down at my shoes. I couldn't look at him. "I'm not promised to anyone – dirty blood, you see."

            "You're as pure as they come," James said. "Go on, you'd better get back. Hope it all goes well for your cousin tomorrow, and good luck for the Ministry." I realised with a pang that he was saying goodbye. "Come and see us sometime."

            I watched him turn the corner and disappear down a secret passage. There was nothing more to say. I'd made my decision – or rather, I'd had it made for me. 

            I dragged myself back inside, trying to put on a cheerful smile even though I felt nauseous. Loud music was playing and everyone was up on their feet, dancing, even Kate and Mike. I gritted my teeth as Wilhelmina's grandson grabbed my hand and pulled me over to dance with him. I put up with it for a couple of minutes, but then he picked me up in his arms and whirled around the room with me. I felt like punching him. Everyone was watching and pointing and nudging each other. I didn't want to know what they were saying about us, but I could guess.

            I wriggled out of his grasp, and headed for the door. He looked a bit annoyed, but when he turned round Bubbly was standing there, ready to jump in and take my place, so he soon cheered up.

            I stood by the dorm stairs, feeling suddenly alone in the middle of all those people. A job in the Ministry, marriage to someone like Wilhelmina's grandson, kids…

            I couldn't see any way out. I was trapped.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

            A cheer went up from the guests standing outside the hall of Ceremonies as Cissa stepped through the door. She looked like the perfect, shy, virginal, Pureblood bride, all dressed up in white and pale blue. I followed her, trying to stay in the background, although that wasn't easy with my bright green gown. One of Luc's cousins was recording the wedding, and I was determined to stay out of his way as much as I could.

            "Eyes down, don't smile," He called, pointing his wand over my head at Cissa, trying to get a better picture. "A Pureblood bride is shy and demure – you'll ruin the recording!"

            But Cissa couldn't help smiling, even though a Pureblood bride is supposed to be sad to be leaving her family, and obviously a naïve virgin, as well. She'd got what she wanted, and I could tell she was going to enjoy every minute of it. Whatever doubts I had about my own placement, the Sorting Hat had known exactly what it was doing when it made Cissa a Slytherin.

            After milling around for ages, we finally filed into the Hall of Ceremonies, bowing to the Aramanthene crystal on the way past. The crystal was what all ritual ceremonies were tied into, Blessings and weddings and funerals and so on. The crystal had so many spells tied into it, you could see the magic pulsing inside it. I wasn't all that interested, though – I kept glancing at my watch. Only a couple of hours until the match began. The girls would be at the ground by now, and James would be giving them a pre-game pep talk. I wanted to be there with them so much. I noticed Mike looking at me, and quickly fixed a bright smile to my face. My jaw already ached with the effort of trying to look happy all the time, and the day wasn't even half over yet. I sat through the prayers and the blessings, trying to keep my minds on what was happening. As Lucius and Cissa got up to perform the spell ritual, I tried to picture myself in her position. Maybe one day. In about twenty years time.

            After the ceremony, we came out into the sunshine, and everyone brought out their wands and started conjuring everything from flower petals, to fireworks, to tiny, living fairies to shower the newly-weds with. Great day for the match, I thought, looking up at the blue sky. _Stop it, Lily. Just stop it._

            Sev, who was standing next to me, gave me a concerned look. "You all right about missing the final, Lily?" he asked.

            I glanced over at Kate and Mike. They were watching Cissa and Luc, and smiling proudly. I hadn't seen them look so happy for ages. I turned to Sev and nodded. What else could I do?

            At the reception, back at Hogwarts, everyone got stuck into the free cocktails and snacks, while they waited for the meal to be served. There was an orchestra coming on later, and the party would probably go on all night. I glanced at my watch again. It was almost time for the match to start.

            Suddenly, Sev appeared beside me. He grabbed my arm and hustled me out of the room and down a long corridor. The house elves were going up and down the corridor carrying huge pots and platters of food, and I had to lift up my gown with one hand to dodge around them.

            "Sev!" I gasped, when we finally came to a standstill. "What are you _doing_?"

            "You can still make the kick-off if we leave now," Sev said in a determined voice.

            I stared at him as if he was mad. He _was_ mad. "Kate and Mike'll go spare!" I pointed out. "You know I've got to put my family first today."

            "But, Lily, there's so many people in there, they won't even notice," Sev argued.

            For a moment I wavered. But however much I wanted to, I just couldn't do it. "I can't," I said, my voice shaking. "Look how happy they are, Sev. I don't want to ruin it for them."

            "What are you going to ruin?"

            I almost jumped out of my gown. Mike had come up behind us, and neither Sev nor I had seen him.

            "Nothing," I said firmly, shooting Sev a warning glance. "It's OK."

            He ignored me. "It's the final of her Quidditch tournament. We can pick up her kit, and we can floo there and back. It won't take long – "

            "Stop it, Sev," I broke in. "Mike, it doesn't matter. This is much more important. I don't want to the spoil the day for Cissa, or for you and Kate."

            Mike looked at me steadily. "Narcissa is so happy today," he said abruptly. "And you, you look like you're at her funeral, not her wedding."

            I hung my head. "I'm sorry, Mike."

            "If this is the only way I'm going to see you smiling on your cousin's wedding day, then go." I jerked my head up, hardly able to believe my ears. "But when you come back, I want to see you happy on the recording."

            This time the big smile on my face was for real. I threw my arms around Mike and hugged him tightly.

            "Play well, and make us proud," he whispered in my ear. 

            The game would have already started by the time we got there, but I wouldn't have missed much. Sev took me to the tapestry to grab my kit, I got changed at record speed, then we legged it as fast as we could to the nearest fireplace. I was surprised I got to the right fire, considering how breathless and strangled my shout came out.

            I leapt out of the grate, and ran towards the pitch. My adrenaline was rocketing as I pushed my way through the crowd and vaulted over the barrier, rushing over to James who was standing shouting at the side of the pitch. His face broke into a huge smile when he saw me, but he didn't stop to ask any questions.

            "Start warming up, Evans," he said, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "We're 100-30 down."

            100-30 down. That was a bit of a shock. Still, there was plenty of time for us to come back – I hoped. We'd only been playing for twenty minutes or so. 

            I did my stretches, then flew impatiently up and down the side of the pitch, waiting for my chance to sub onto the pitch. It came when Mel fouled one of the other team, and they got a penalty. I swooped onto the field, getting patted on the back and cheered by the other Horntails as I passed. Abby had only just noticed me, and her mouth dropped open in amazement.

            "I'm so glad you came!" she yelled, giving me a huge hug, quite a feat while perched on a broomstick. Relief surged through me. It was going to be OK.             

            They missed their penalty, which cheered me up even more, and soon Abby, Rosmerta and I were zooming up the pitch in the Hawkshead Attacking Formation, passing the Quaffle between us, and casually dodging Bludgers and players alike. 

            Now that Abby and I were back in business as friends _ and_ team-mates, we played better than ever. Our passes were fast and sharp and accurate, and we moved smoothly down the pitch, almost reading each other's minds as the Quaffle flew between us. We were ripping the heart out of the Raptor's defence. Now, it was only a matter of time before we caught up.

            In an astonishingly short time, we'd drawn equal to the Raptor's score, and soon surpassed it. Abby and I were on fire, every play we tried worked like a charm. Soon, the score was 270-120. I thought the match was in the bag.

            I was wrong. The Raptors weren't about to give up. As I reverse-passed the Quaffle to Abby, I felt one of the players blagging my broom – seizing the tail to trey and stop me scoring. Just after the ref had blown the whistle and granted me a penalty, I heard a massive roar from the crowd. That could only mean one thing. Someone had caught the Snitch. I turned frantically on my broom, hoping to see Verraine with her arm raised in triumph – but it was the Raptors' Seeker who had caught it. 

            With a painful gnawing in my gut, I anxiously calculated the score. Beside me, I saw the ref doing the same. We realised it simultaneously. The score was 270 all. We had drawn. Or so I thought. 

            Just as I was preparing to land and offer my congratulations to the other team, I heard the ref call out to me. I turned in surprise. 

            "Haven't you forgotten something?" she said, a mischievous grin on her face. "You've still got a penalty to take – I awarded it while the game was still in progress, and it stands even though the games finished now." She winked, and I smiled weakly back at her. 

            The outcome of the entire tournament rested with me. I could see the rest of my team willing me on. Heart in my throat, almost light-headed with apprehension, I took my place in front of the goalposts. I took a deep breath, and looked up at the Raptors' Keeper, and the Beaters hovering intimidatingly by the sidelines. 

            But in my mind, the Rochester Raptors players had vanished. Instead, hovering in front of the goal was Kate, always getting in the way of what I wanted. The Beaters became Cissa and Bubbly, shaking their heads at me and looking disapproving. 

            But I wasn't going to let them put me off. I blinked a few times, and they disappeared. _This was it._

            I swooped forward, and looped the Quaffle up in a perfect arch. It flew exactly where I wanted it to go, which was up and over the distracting Beaters, then curving sweetly past the Keeper. She flung herself backwards in a vain attempt to deflect it, but it dipped over her head and spun neatly through the centre of the hoop. I could hardly believe it.

            I'd pitched it just like Pendragon. It was my best shot _ever._

"We won the cup! We won the cup!"

            The match was over, and the Horntails were the summer tournament champions. We were back in the changing room, after doing several victory laps round the pitch with the cup, and everyone was singing and laughing and cheering. I was joining in, but I was also trying to get  out of my kit and put my gown on at the same time. I had to get back to the wedding before anyone missed me.

            "We'll help you!" Abby offered, giggling, and she and the other girls began to fuss around me, helping me get the stupid thing on properly.

            There was a rap on the door. "Figg, Evans, are you decent?" James called.

            Abby grabbed my arm, and we rushed outside, me still fiddling with the skirt of my gown as I went. James and three strangers were waiting outside. The scouts. 

            Abby clutched my hand as the guys talked to us. We were great, they said, we'd really impressed him. Both of us could pick a team to play for. We could be professionals, with the chance to make loads of money…

            I was sop excited, my mind was spinning. I couldn't think straight. My dreams were being handed to me on a plate, and all I had to do was grab them. Abby and I huddled together, to discuss what we wanted to do. We agreed we wanted to play for the same team – Abby was one of my best mates, and had supported me and helped me get this far – Quidditch wouldn't be the same without her. After ages of debate, we decided to sign up with the Quiberon Quafflepunchers, a French team who frequently won the League there. The only drawback was the robes – shocking pink, ugh! I'd watched a couple of Quafflepuncher matches on my Ocu-globe, and some of their plays were amazing – I couldn't wait to try them out. 

            I glanced at James to see if he looked happy for us. He was smiling, but his eyes were sad. I suddenly felt cold at the thought of going to France, and leaving him behind. But this was my future we were talking about…

            When James took the scouts off to the bar to buy them a drink, I flung my arms round Abby and kissed her, completely overwhelmed with excitement.

            "I can't believe it!" I gasped. "_Both_ of us!"

            "Yeah, that's what makes it so brilliant." Abby hugged me back, her eyes shining. 

            As we drew apart, I noticed that Chloe and Aaron were waiting for her a short distance away. In her flowery dress and strappy pink high heels, she looked like she was going to the theatre, not to a Quidditch match. Still, it was nice of her to come. Maybe she was getting used to the idea of Abby playing Quidditch at last. But, come to think of it, she didn't look too happy. She was staring at me and Abby in dismay. I wondered what the matter was. Maybe she was just sad because she'd realised Abby was on her way to Europe.

            "Look, come over to my cousin's wedding reception when you've changed, yeah?" I said, turning to Abby. "We can celebrate properly there. You can bring Chloe and Aaron if you like."

            "Ok, that'd be great." Abby looked thrilled to be invited.

            I ran off to find Sev. Though I should have been exhausted after the game, I was buzzing. When I told him about the Quafflepunchers, Sev was as excited as I was, and we talked about nothing else the whole way back to Hogwarts. When we got there, the party was in full swing. The orchestra had given up, and the older generation, inclined to ballroom dancing, had given way to Zott's DJ skills – he was, for a complete oaf, surprisingly talented. Everyone was dancing – there'd even been a fight: between Wilhelmina's grandson and the guy who was recording the wedding. Apparently, the recording guy had filmed Wilhelmina's grandson snogging Bubbly in the women's loos. 

            No one seemed to have missed me, although Kate gave me a funny look when I ran up to Mike and gave him a big hug.

            "We won," I whispered, beaming all over my face.

            He nodded, but didn't say anything. I was swept up in the circle of dancers and, as I moved away, I noticed Sev dancing near a really good-looking Ravenclaw boy who was smiling at him! I grinned to myself. Maybe there were happy endings around the corner for both of us…

            At last it was time for the Verwandeln Adia ceremony, and we all traipsed outside. The Verwandeln Adia is when the bride officially leaves her own family and joins her husband's, and it's always really sad. Cissa was hugging Kate and crying into a tissue, and I was even beginning to feel tearful too, when Abby and Chloe came out of the front doors to join us. I waved at them – Abby waved back, but Chloe gave me a death glare. God, what _was_ the matter with the girl?

            Suddenly Chloe shoved her way through the crowd and marched over to me, giving me a filthy look. I took a step backwards, wondering what on earth was going on. Everyone, including Cissa, stopped crying and waited to see what would happen. 

            Chloe stared me straight in the eye. "How could you be such a hypocrite?" she demanded in a tearful voice.

            I looked at her nervously. I didn't have a clue what she was on about.

            "Chloe!" hissed Abby, hovering in the background.

            "How could you be here all demure and respectful with your lot – " Chloe glanced at the assembled elite of the wizarding world, who were all watching goggle-eyed to see what this mad girl would do next " – when I know you've been kissing Abigail in broad daylight?"

            I gasped, and Abby turned bright red. For Merlin's sake. I'd kissed Abby earlier – but we were only celebrating! Chloe was acting like we'd had a full-on snog or something.

            Chloe looked down at my feet and did a double take. For a moment I didn't understand why, but then I remembered. The shoes with diamante bows. _Her_ shoes. 

            "Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!" she snapped.

            _Lesbian?_ I nearly dropped dead on the spot. Chloe though Abby and I were _lesbians? No wonder she'd been acting all upset._

            "Lesbian?" I heard Sev's mum say in a puzzled voice. "Her birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces." I could have hugged her. For once, I was glad of her slightly addled wits and tendency to revert to Seer mode.

            Cissa pushed her way forward and stared aggressively at Chloe. "Do you mind?" she snapped. "This happens to be my wedding day."

            I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I slipped my feet out of the shoes, and handed them to Chloe. Abby immediately grabbed her elbow and hustled her back inside, looking as if she was ready to kill her. Meanwhile, all the guests stood around, determinedly pretending they hadn't heard a word, and that in fact, lesbians didn't even exist. Then some of them remembered that this was supposed to be the Verwandeln Adia ceremony, and they all started wailing and crying again. Covering her face with her cloak, Cissa got into her carriage and pulled me in with her.

            "What in Salazar's name is going on?" she demanded, her tears drying up like magic. "What was that Gryffindor on about you being a lez? I thought you fancied your coach."

            "I don't know what she meant," I replied. Chloe was the least of my worries – anyway, Abby would soon put her friend straight. 

            "Lily." Cissa leaned towards me. "Don't you want all this?" she asked urgently, gesturing at her wedding robes and gold jewellery. "It's the best day of your life!"

            "I want _more than this," I said quietly. "They've offered me and Abby places on a Quidditch team in France."_

            "What?" Cissa was shocked. "Lily, there's no way Kate'll let you go and live abroad without getting married first!"

            My dreams cracked and crumbled to dust around me. She was right. I'd been so happy that Mike had let me play today, I'd refused to face the truth. Giving me permission to play in the final had been a giant step for Mike. But asking him if I could give up a Ministry position, move to France and play Quidditch professionally?

            It just wasn't going to happen.

            But surely I couldn't give up my whole future without _trying_ to persuade them… could I?


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

            The wedding was over. Cissa had gone, and it seemed incredibly quiet without her. Kate, Mike, Wilhelmina and Sev's parents were sitting in the Slytherin common room, talking over everything that had happened at the wedding, while I made tea in Kate's office. Sev was helping me. He looked worried as I carried the tray into the common room and handed round the cups. I knew what was on his mind, because it was the same thing that was on mine.

            "I didn't understand what that Gryffindor girl was saying," Wilhelmina complained, as she took her tea. "What was she saying about kissing?"

            "I think she got confused, like Lucius's parents," Kate yawned. "Easy to do, nowadays, when young people have such short hair."

            "I knew Gryffindors were rather odd," Sev's mum added. "But why did she take Liliana's shoes?"

            I slipped away before someone could ask me about Chloe, and went back to Sev.

            "How am I gonna tell them, Sev?" I muttered. "I have to, or I'll end up a bloody bureaucrat, bored out of my mind."

            Sev frowned. I wasn't really expected him to come up with any ideas – after all, this was _my_ problem, not his – but suddenly he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the common room.

            "Mum, Dad, Professor Morgan, Mr Charbet," Sev announced, standing in front of the sofa with me at his side. "We've got something to tell you."

            _Oh no_, I thought. _Sev, what are you doing?_ I didn't have a clue what he was up to, but all the adults were sitting up now, their ears practically flapping.

            "You know how we've been good friends for a long time…" Sev started.

            _Oh, Merlin,_ I thought, as everyone sat forward eagerly in their seats.

            "Well, we'd like to ask for your blessings," Sev said awkwardly. "We want to get engaged!"

            I stared at him in shock. Meanwhile, Sev's mum clapped her hands and started blessing us immediately, and there were exclamations of delight from the others. I just stood there dumbly, not knowing what to say. What the hell was Sev up to? If he wanted to marry me, he might have discussed it with me first.

            "There's just one condition," Sev had to raise his voice to be heard above all the rejoicing. "I want Lily to have the chance to do whatever job she feels is best for her."

            I felt all the colour drain from my face and I clutched Sev's hand, unable to speak. He'd worked out a way for me to go to Europe and play Quidditch professionally, and this was it. Kate and Mike were much more likely to let me go if I was already engaged to a nice Slytherin pureblood they approved of. It was a brilliant idea.

            "Of course, Severus," Mike agreed eagerly. "That's whatI want too."

            I bit my lip. I couldn't _believe_ that Sev was prepared to do this for me. He was a real friend. But if we went through with this fake engagement, I'd be lying to my family _again_. Sev and I would never be getting married, which meant we'd have to split up at some point and tell them all the reason why.

And what about the future? After a few years, I might want to stay in Europe. But I might want to come back to Britain and conduct the Knight Bus like that girl on the England team, just so I could carry on playing Quidditch. That would mean more painful arguments as I carried on fighting to live my life the way I wanted to. Quickly I made up my mind. No more secrets, no more lies.

            "Kate, Mike, Sev's lying," I blurted out. "We're not getting engaged."

            Everyone stopped celebrating, and looked confused.

            "Sev only said that to help me," I went on shakily. "Look, I played in the final today – and we won."

            "What?" Kate asked in a shocked voice. "How?"

            "I wasn't going to go, but Mike let me," I told her.

            For once, Kate was too stunned to say a word. She turned to Mike, who looked a bit shame-faced.

            "And it was brilliant," I went on quickly before Kate could get started. "I played the best I ever have – because I wasn't sneaking off and lying to you. I didn't _ask_ to be good at Quidditch –" I glanced at the picture on the wall "– Salazar Slytherin must have blessed me. Anyway, there were scouts from Europe there, and I've been offered a place in a French team, the Quiberon Quafflepunchers – I can play Quidditch professionally! I _really _want to go…" I was having to swallow hard now because I was on the edge of tears. "And if I can't tell you now what I really want, then I'll never be happy _whatever_ I do."

            I stole a glance at Kate and Mike. Mike looked stunned, but Kate was recovering fast. She glared at Mike. "You mean you let her leave her cousin's wedding to play _Quidditch?_"

            Tears filled my eyes, and I slumped down in an armchair. Hadn't Kate heard a word I was saying?

            "You might have been able to handle her long face, but I could not," Mike muttered uncomfortably. "I didn't have the heart to stop her."

            "And _that's_ why she's ready to give up her future and go all the way to Europe now!" Kate snapped.

            I huddled in my chair, feeling sick. I'd blown it. I'd really blown it.

            There was a tense silence. Mike got up, went over to the bar in the office and poured himself a large Fire-Whisky.

            "When all those bloody Aurors threw me out like a dog, I never complained," he said quietly. "On the contrary, I vowed to never try again. And who suffered? Me."

            I stared at him. Of all the things I'd expected him to say, this wasn't one of them.

            "I don't want Lily to suffer," Mike said. "I don't want her to make the same mistake I made, just accepting the situation. I want her to fight, and I want her to win."

            I sat up, my eyes fixed on him. A tiny seed of hope sprang up inside me and started to grow. 

            "I've seen Lily play, and she's brilliant!" Mike went on passionately. I managed a smile. So he _had_ seen me playing in the semi-final. "I don't think anyone has the right to stop her…"

            I gasped with relief, jumped up from my chair and ran to throw my arms around him. However stubborn Kate was, once Mike made up his mind about something, he was implacable. I saw her opening her mouth to protest, but seeing the determined glint in Mike's eye, she gave up. I was so happy, I couldn't say a word, I just hugged him as tightly as I could. I knew that Mike would always be my family, my surrogate father.

            "Two daughters made happy in one day," Mike said softly. He clearly saw the same thing. "What more could any father want?"

            "Well, at least she'll have good grades and a position in the Ministry for when she's given up this nonsense," Kate said, sounding upset but resigned. "The rest is in Merlin's hands."

            "James! James!" I raced across the pitch, holding my gown up with one hand. He was out under the floodlights on his own, flying for the sheer joy of it. "I'm going! They said I could go!"

            At first he looked stunned, then he beamed as I threw myself into his arms and we hugged each other to bits. "That's brilliant, Lily."

            There were a few wolf whistles from some guys in the stands, and I pulled away from him, embarrassed.

            "Sorry, I forgot."

            "It's OK now, Lily," James said quickly. "I'm not your coach any more. We can do what we want."

            He reached out to pull me to him again, but I backed away. This was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do. But I'd thought things through, and it was the only way.

            "James," I began uncomfortably.

            James looked behind him, an expression of alarm on his face. "Mr Charbet isn't here, is he?"

            I shook my head. "I'm sorry, James. I can't…"

            James looked confused and I almost melted, but I forced myself to harden my heart again. "Lily, I thought you wanted – "

            "Letting me play Quidditch professionally is a really big step for Kate, especially." I couldn't look at him. Instead, I reached out and fiddled with the zip of his trackie top. "She can't handle anything more. She'd blow up if I got involved with a Gryffindor – probably disown me."

            There was silence for a moment.

            "Well, I guess with you going to France, there's not much point anyway," James said bravely. "Is there?"

            He was giving me a way out without making it hard for me. I shook my head, and we hugged each other goodbye. It might me the right decision, but it still hurt. Why couldn't life just be simple and straightforward?

            "Daughter, go with our blessings," Mike said, "but owl us every week."

            The big day had finally arrived. Abby and I were taking a Portkey to France to begin training with the Quiberon Quafflepunchers, and Sev and my family had come to the Ministry to see me off. I was buzzing with anticipation, but it was hard to say goodbye. Our Portkey had already been called four times, and Abby and I were going to miss it if we weren't careful.

            Abby was standing with her parents, Aaron and Chloe a little way off – they were still saying their goodbyes too. I was glad that everything had been sorted out with Chloe. Abby had told me that she had overheard us rowing in the dorm about James, and thought we were in love with each other! She must've been mad. I could laugh about it now, though. _James._ I shook my head to get the thought of him out of my mind. I had to look forward now. 

            "Excuse me." Abby's dad came over to us. "It's getting really late. They'd better go now."

            I took a deep breath as I gave everyone a final hug. This was it, then. No going back.

            "Lily!"

            I felt goosebumps all over me, and my face broke into a huge smile. James was running through the departure lounge towards me.

            "What are you doing here?" I gasped, conscious of Kate's eyes on us.

            "I wanted to tell you, they offered me the job," James said. "They want me to coach the men's side."

            I gave him a big smile. I wanted to hug him, but it wasn't a good idea with my family standing there. "That's _great_, James!"

            "Yeah." He nodded. "I turned 'em down."

            "What?" My jaw dropped. "Why – ?"

            "They're going to let me coach the girls' side full-time," James broke in, smiling from ear to ear. "They want us to go pro next year. Can't keep losing all our best players to Europe now, can we?" he added teasingly. 

            "That's brilliant, James," I said, meaning it. "You should tell your dad."

            "I already did," James replied, and the look on his face told me that everything was OK. 

            "Maybe after they've trained you up out there, I'll sign you back," he went on. "If we can afford you!"

            "You wish," I laughed.

            Suddenly serious, James looked deep into my eyes. "Look, Lily," he said urgently, "I can't let you go without knowing – "

            "What?" I said. But I thought I already knew.

            "That even with the distance and the concerns of your family, we might still have something…"

            I couldn't take my eyes off him. Suddenly it was as if there was no-one else in the airport except us two. I leaned towards him, and then we were kissing. I'd forgotten about Kate and Mike standing behind us. And if I'd remembered, I wouldn't have cared anyway. I knew then that what Cissa had told me was true. _When you're in love, you'll do anything just to be with that person…_

            "Oh, Merlin!" It was Abby, screaming. "It's Pendragon! Lily, look! It's him! It's got to be a sign…"

            Slowly I pulled away from James and turned to look. Everyone was staring across the hall at a large crowd of people – mainly reporters. None of them had even noticed us kissing. I just caught a glimpse of Emlyn Pendragon, my hero, surrounded by his entourage, before they disappeared from sight down a corridor.

            I grinned at James. Abby was right. It _was _a sign. "I'll be home for Christmas," I whispered. "We'll tackle my family then."

            The look on James's face gave me a warm feeling inside. He nodded, then moved over to say goodbye to Abby. There was just time for one last round of hugs before Abby and I walked towards the now rather impatient group gathered round the Portkey.

            "This is it," Abby breathed, her eyes shining.

            I turned to give everyone one last wave, and saw Kate handing a tissue to Mrs Figg, Abby's mum. "Yeah, this is it," I agreed. "Let's go for it."

            Smiling we turned back and grabbed the Portkey. As I felt the tug at my navel, I knew my future was unfolding in front of me, and that finally, I was in control of my own life. My own destiny.


End file.
